Tag Archives: Bridge of Spies

The 85th Academy Awards® will air live on Oscar® Sunday, February 24, 2013.

First Annual Oscar Clobber or The First time we rant about the Academy Awards

I honestly had a real plan for this article.  It was going to be a week long event in which we had guest writers discussing things like #OscarsSoWhite, how terrible the panel is due to ridiculous rules, eligibility, and voting, but I just can’t seem to care enough about the award show to make a real effort at posting something profound.

Seriously, I just Googled "Apathy" and this was the first image that came up...
Seriously, I just Googled “Apathy” and this was the first image that came up…

In lieu of an article about how awful the Oscars have become (and pretty much always have been), I’m going to go over some of the major categories and see if we can find something of interest somewhere among them to talk about.

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Academy Award for Best Actress

First off, I really don’t like the fact that we still distinguish between “Actresses” and “Actors” via gender.  They are all actors and should be treated as such.  In my opinion, we should really put Jennifer Lawrence (nominated this year for the movie Joy) up against Eddie Redmayne (nominated for his (her?) performance in The Danish Girl) or Matt Damon (nominated for The Martian).  If you’ve seen Joy, you know it’s no where near the caliber of her past performances (Silver Linings Playbook, American Hustle, etc.), but it’s still a well put together movie and for her part, she does everything right and again, showcases an immense amount of talent.

"Don't put metal in the SCIENCE OVEN!" Still my favorite line of that movie and quite possibly 2014.
“Don’t put metal in the SCIENCE OVEN!” Still my favorite line of that movie and quite possibly 2014.

Anyway, there are other actors (yes, screw the word Actress) that are nominated as well, here is a quick round up:

  • Cate Blanchett, in Carol Aird, as Carol
  • Brie Larson, in Room, as Joy “Ma” Newsome
  • Jennifer Lawrence, in Joy, as Joy Mangano
  • Charlotte Rampling, in 45 Years, as Kate Mercer
  • Saoirse Ronan, in Brooklyn, as Eilis Lacey

IWTMM’s Prediction: Jennifer Lawrence

Of course it has to be Jennifer Lawrence.  Everyone loves her (she is really seemingly charming by all accounts) and if the panel even recognized any other actor’s name in that pile, then I would be surprised.  Just give her another one, let her trip on the stairs or her dress *cue laughter* and a “surprised” winning speech.

IWTMM’s “Who Should Have Won”: Charlize Theron as Imperator Furiosa in Mad Max: Fury Road.

Seriously, you’ve likely seen Mad Max: Fury Road, the other nominations, not too likely.  If you have (or even if you haven’t), Charlize Theron kicks so much ass in two hours than all the “Action Stars” of the 80’s combined.  I totally think she should go all Kanye West on the Winner.

"I'm gonna let you finish, but first, I want to shoot a few idiots in the crowd." -Charlize Theron
“I’m gonna let you finish, but first, I want to shoot a few idiots in the crowd.” -Charlize Theron

Academy Award for Best Actor

 I believe they add, “in a Leading Role” to this title, but I don’t really care (that’s going to be a theme during this whole article).  Let’s take a look at our powder-white nominees:

  • Bryan Cranston, in Trumbo, as Dalton Trumbo
  • Matt Damon, in The Martian, as Mark Watney
  • Leonardo DiCaprio, in The Revenant, as Hugh Glass
  • Michael Fassbender, in Steve Jobs, as Steve Jobs
  • Eddie Redmayne, in The Danish Girl, as Lili Elbe / Einar Wegener

IWTMM’s Prediction: Leonardo DiCaprio

Leo has been passed over for this award in four separate years.  They skipped a year between nominating him so it didn’t look too suspicious, but I believe DiCaprio has been thoroughly snubbed.  It likely doesn’t make any difference to him.  Did you see what he got to do in The Wolf of Wall Street?

I can just see all the tears spewing from his gold-lined tear ducts...
I can just see all the tears spewing from his gold-lined tear ducts…

I mean, come on, you think Leo cares?  Does he want to win, probably, it’s seemingly a big deal to these Hollywood types.  But if a little gold statue is more important than the millions he rakes in for almost every film he does, then I really think the “art” in film is moot.

I think this is a bit more up everyone's alley...
I think this is a bit more up everyone’s alley…

Academy Award for Best….

You know what, I really don’t give a crap.  The Oscars are horrible.  The monologue is obnoxious and no matter who wins, someone is going to be upset.  I don’t even have enough apathy to finish this article.

IWTMM’s Prediction for Best Director: Adam McKay for The Big Short

IWTMM’s Prediction for Best Picture: The Big Short

Seriously, I don’t care.  The Big Short was a phenomenal movie with excellent actors, a horrifying reality, and was honestly both entertaining and filmed very well.  It’s on the “Unicorn List”.  It’s both entertaining and “Critically” acclaimed.  So, for my money, it’s going to come out the winner, but I really don’t care.  The whole thing is just a big Hollywood circlejer…….

We apologize for the inconvience as us at I Watch Too Many Movies attempt to appeal to all audiences, thus the ending of the review has been closed and censored.
We apologize for the inconvenience as us at I Watch Too Many Movies attempt to appeal to all audiences, thus the ending of the review has been closed and censored.

…..and that’s all I have to say about that.  At least I get to see Zootopia next weekend.

-Darkmovienight

Box Office

Monday Morning Shower Report: Box Office 10/30-11/1

Good Monday our Bleary-Eyed Fans.  I know it’s been a little while since we have updated the Top 5 Box Office Results, but frankly, you don’t pay attention anyway, so why should we spend time on you?  I recall we asked for adoration and love last time, but we only received a few dollars through Paypal.  They were soggy and crusty too.  How do you make internet currency soggy?

Photo illustration of dirty money in the Tribune Studio on Wednesday, 11 Jan 2012 for the features section. (Bill Hogan/ Chicago Tribune) B581814461Z.1 ....OUTSIDE TRIBUNE CO.- NO MAGS, NO SALES, NO INTERNET, NO TV, NEW YORK TIMES OUT, CHICAGO OUT, NO DIGITAL MANIPULATION...
Perhaps it is best we not accept money from p0rna11thetimez@juicylover.com.

Soiled Paypal funds aside, let us all hop in the shower for last weekend’s Top 5 Box Office Films:

1) The Martian- $11.4M ($182.8M Total)

This is a glorious time to be alive.  Not only does this film perfectly do justice to the novel, but it is feeding a space love for the populace I have not seen since Ron Howard’s Apollo 13.  You can read our review here.  Also, just a note, if you have an AMC Theater near you, they are doing a special IMAX 3D screening this week only, so that’ll give it another boost and you should go see it a second time with this superior format.  In conjunction with all of the Mars and Pluto news, I hope and believe we can get these kids that are in High School or College more interested in space again.    There is a lot of it and it keeps getting better.  Or they could always explore the ocean.

Or we could leave the Oceans to Aquaman and he'll handle the "Dragonfish" (as pants soiling seen above)
Or we could leave the Oceans to Aquaman and he’ll handle the “Dragonfish” (seen above plotting your demise)

2) Goosebumps- $10.2M ($57.1M Total)

Just saw this film last night and I have to say it deserves the money that is coming its way.  Not only did it give a good injection of nostalgia, but it was a good “Coming of Age/Fish Out of Water” film.  I really enjoyed the special effects and Jack Black seemed fairly grounded in his role as the titular R.L. Stine.  I would definitely recommend this for families, but since it is post Halloween, I see a steep drop in this film’s theatrical run, so go soon or wait for the release on some sort of Home/Mobile device.

3) Bridge of Spies- $8.1M ($45.2M Total)

It’s been three years since we saw the last Steven Spielberg film (Lincoln, 2012) and almost ten years since he and Tom Hanks joined together to form MegaHanksBerg (The Terminal, 2004).  MegaHanksBerg is obviously a giant mech that fights monsters.  Just wanted to make that clear to everyone.  We saw this one, but didn’t believe it warranted a review, mainly due to just a common theme, Tom Hanks makes us watch him pee, and a simple drama from MegaHanksBerg.  Just a film you will be happy to catch on the FX channel or rent from Redbox.

4) Hotel Transylvania 2- $5.8M ($156.0M Total)

The Peanuts Movie comes to town this weekend and most likely puts a stake in the heart of this film in the Top 5.  Again, another one we didn’t review, but the quick notes on it is that it is more or less the same as the first film but with less substance and just a slightly different message. The animation was gorgeous (which I’ve come to expect from Sony Pictures Animation) colorful, and lush, but they need to put more effort in their next slate of films.  Sadly, the next thing they have coming is a way outdated license, The Angry Birds Movie.   It’s a shame, why can’t we just have a third Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs?

5) Burnt- $5.0M

The only new addition to the Top 5 and releasing in 3k theaters, you would expect a better outcome.  Perhaps the studios were banking too heavily on Bradley Cooper’s star power.  I could have told them if he’s not paired with Jennifer Lawrence, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, or voicing the most violent and badass raccoon in the Galaxy, he just doesn’t carry a film.  Well, Limitless was pretty good, but they sneaked Robert di Niro in there, so maybe that might be the reason for its success.  I plan on consuming this film this week and serving up a review out before the main dishes of Spectre and The Peanuts Movie are out of the oven.  Everyone see what I did there?  Food jokes in a paragraph about a food movie…  I know, I’ll see myself out.

Hopefully everyone is looking for a big debut for Daniel Craig’s 007 in Spectre. I’m anticipating an opening release gross of somewhere in the neighborhood of $60-$80M.  We still have not given out anything for a contest and this would be a good time.  All Bleary-Eyed fans: make a prediction of the Domestic Opening gross for Spectre, and the person who is closest (Price is Right rules), will win a copy of The Martian when it comes out on DVD/Blu-Ray.  Please leave your guesses below or on our Facebook page for this post.  Good luck everyone and make sure to clean really well behind your ears, they’re more filthy than usual.

Photo illustration of dirty money in the Tribune Studio on Wednesday, 11 Jan 2012 for the features section. (Bill Hogan/ Chicago Tribune) B581814461Z.1 ....OUTSIDE TRIBUNE CO.- NO MAGS, NO SALES, NO INTERNET, NO TV, NEW YORK TIMES OUT, CHICAGO OUT, NO DIGITAL MANIPULATION...
Still not as bad as some things…