In 1977, the world at large was introduced to a beautiful and bright eyed 19-year-old girl in the science fiction/fantasy saga known as Star Wars. There were many beloved figures in that film and the subsequent sequels, prequels, and even cartoons, but to many, none shown so bright as a star than Carrie Fisher. Today, December 27th, 2016, that starlight has vanished when, after a heart attack just a few days ago, she passed away.
Like many of you, and myself, this will be a heartbreaking affair. Not only did we love Carrie Fisher and her work, but have grown up knowing her as Princess Leia. There are a few things about her work that some forget to acknowledge and even admire. As I was not born yet, but raised on the Disney Princesses, I had an idea of what a Princess should be. Looking back at the Star Wars films as an adult, Carrie Fisher and the writers had already re-imagined what a Princess should be and absolutely what they could be.
I don’t have many words as this is a close loss of an actor as I’ve seen in a while and at the age of 60, Carrie was relatively young. I do want to draw your attention to a few things that Carrie loved and cared about over the years and perhaps you’ll get a glimpse of her as a person.
Her latest book, The Princess Diarist, which can be purchased here, show another side of the actress we all grew up loving. Carrie’s struggle with addiction and mental illness made her respected in the acting community as she was willing to speak open and honestly about what so many of us have have struggled with through the years. I believe her having the courage to be self-deprecating and share her pain is something that should be admired. She was an active advocate of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and if you feel the need to share something with the Princess you loved, go there are donate so that so many can benefit from their, and her, support.
Other than her charities and causes, Carrie Fisher had a few true loves in her life. One being her daughter, Billie Catherine Lourd, who actually had a brief cameo appearance in The Force Awakens. Then there was Gary Fisher, her pet dog who was there with her everywhere she went and stayed by her side til the end. And when she took Gary as her date to the premier of The Force Awakens, it was a love that all could see and easily identify with due to their own love of their pets. I’m sure we will all mourn for her, but pet parents will know that Gary, who has his own Instagram page, will be particularly lost without his mother.
There are not many things left to say about the great Carrie Fisher, but I hope that you were able to learn a little more about the person behind the Princess who stole our hearts so many years ago. You will be missed Carrie Fisher and we here at IWTMM thank you for your contribution to film and to society as a whole.
After months and well over a year of anticipation, the first trailer for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is here and the above line of dialog sets the tone for the movie itself.
After last year’s unbelievable success of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, many of us didn’t know where the franchise could take us next or even have a reasonable follow-up until Episode VIII. This morning, Disney answered our queries with a trailer for the prequel to A New Hope.
Rogue One is the first of many canonical movie tie-ins that Disney has dubbed “Star Wars Stories“. I’m fairly certain they had that already and it was called the Expanded Universe, but those ass-clowns went ahead an tossed that all out. I’m not bitter at all.
This is the story of Jyn Erso (portrayed by the English actress Felicity Jones). You might have seen her in the Stephen Hawking documentary film The Theory of Everything. Other than being an excellent Mrs. Hawking, Miss Jones has mainly done things across the pond.
Jyn Erso seems to be a likable criminal. And what do likable criminals do best in film? Steal stuff! And like every good heist film, the stakes have to be unimaginably high. In this case, we already know what she’s looking for: the plans for the Death Star. This is a heavy subject and one quest fans have been wanting to see for a long time.
Under the hood of this film are some interesting choices for director- Gareth Edwards, best known for the low budget film Monsters (2010) and rebooting the Godzilla (2014) franchise. I’m completely down with someone new and fresh getting the reins of a Star Wars film, I just don’t know what Disney realize he was the man for the job while watching giant kaiju destroy cities.
Also of interest is bringing on a giant in the world of visual effects, John Knoll as a writer. Knoll has been the Visual Effects Supervisor for amazingly gorgeous films like Pacific Rim, Avatar, and even Star Trek: First Contact. He also worked on the Prequel Trilogy, but those films still looked good at least. I wonder how his talents will be utilized as a writer. Will it be more ambitious or will he have written much more manageable effects? We’ll see.
There is a wild card in the cast. Not only do we have Hoban Washburne or “Wash” (Alan Tudyk) and King of Important Plot Development- Forest Whitaker, but we have one of the most mysterious men in cinema: Mads Mikkelsen. After facing off with Daniel Craig’s James Bond in CasinoRoyale, he decided to face off against Laurence Fishburne in the critically acclaimed, and down right disturbing, TV show Hannibal.
Seriously, I don’t know who he’s playing, and frankly, I just don’t want to think of him at all. It’s safer that way.
Finally, we have the music. Taking over for John Williams this time is Alexandre Desplat, the composer from the Harry Potter films, to Argo and Zero Dark Thirty. He also worked with Edwards on 2014’s Godzilla, so it seems the two kept each other’s business cards at least.
The rest of the trailer keeps some beautiful sights, combat, and all out war in the open and in the trenches for everyone to see and it’s really something. Now I’m not shaking with excitement like I did with 2014’s The Force Awakens teaser, but I am really interested in Disney’s “Star Wars Stories” films. Could be shameless money grab, or allowing more of the Galaxy Far Far Away to showcase more than just Jedi…
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story hits theaters December 18th and remember, when they debut the actual trailer for this one in September/October- BUY YOUR TICKETS THEN.
Good morning Bleary-Eyed fans, are you awake enough after your third or fourth viewing of Star Wars: The Force Awakens? Well, prepare to drop the soap as we spend some time on how amazing Star Wars did this weekend.
1) Star Wars: The Force Awakens- $238M
There isn’t going to be much else to talk about this morning, so we’re going to get really involved with this film. And from now on, I’m just going to type “Star Wars” as the movie title so I don’t contract irreversible mega-carpel-tunnel syndrome. Like I said last week, we all knew that Star Wars was going to break records, but had no idea that it would break all the records. Let me quickly tick off the records it shattered:
Largest opening weekend: $238M, previously held by Jurassic World earlier this year ($208.8M).
Largest Thursday showings: $57M, previously held by the final Harry Potter installment ($43.5M) four years ago.
Largest opening day (FYI, this does include the above Thursday showings): $120.5M, beating the crap out of the Kid Wizard again which previously held it at $91.1M
Largest dollar amount per theater of a wide release: $57.6k per theater, with Star Wars releasing in 4,134 theaters. There really is no comparison to any other movie here, that’s how far it eclipses everything else.
Largest IMAX release: $30.1M out of 391 IMAX screens, making extinct the dinosaurs from earlier this year which had $20.9M. I’ll do the math for you, that’s $77k per screen…
International opening of $279M. They still have India, Greece, and China (opening in January) to go.
The entire global weekend gross for Star Wars was $517M. If each person who saw Star Wars only once (not the case, but for sake of jaw-dropping figure), then each human of the Earth’s population (7.3 Billion), will have spent an average of $14.12 a ticket. That’s right, even toddlers spent $14.12 on average to see Star Wars.
Honestly, I knew it was going to be big, but I had no idea the power of the Force, I mean hype. Now it is estimated that the production costs of Star Wars was north of $200M (not including advertising). If that is a true number, then Disney/Lucasfilm might eek out a tiny profit…
All this success does cause a little bit of a problem for I Watch Too Many Movies: we’d love to do a review of Star Wars, but we’ve got a few roadblocks in our way. We don’t want to spoil it for the 1% who didn’t go this week, and those of you who did see it (likely ANYONE who reads this site) you’ve already made up your mind about how you feel about the film and did your own micro-review on Facebook or Twitter. I think Manchicken and I will give our thoughts on the film separately in the next few days, but I’m pretty sure those opinions won’t differ too much.
2) Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip- $14.4M
Apparently some film studios decided to find a convenient excuse for their movies failing by sacrificing, er, releasing them against Star Wars. 20th Century Fox pulled this move by releasing the fourth movie in the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie franchise. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that being a Babysitter this weekend was quite lucrative. And likely this is the film the babysitters’ took the kids to while their parents went and saw Star Wars in the theater next door.
3) Sisters- $13.4M
Universal pulled this trick with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s new comedy, Sisters. Apparently this wasn’t a horrible film, so I don’t know if they just dumped it here or had the misfortune of having this weekend booked for quite a while. At any rate, it’s a comedy, so it likely didn’t cost much to make and the fact that it made any movie this weekend was an achievement. The audience consisted mostly of women over 25, so that fits squarely in the demographic that grew up watching these two on Saturday Night Live and haven’t seen or don’t care about seeing Star Wars.
4) The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2- $5.6M ($254.4M Total)
Katniss’ bow, speeches, or constantly waking up in a hospital bed were no match for a good blaster at Star Wars’ side. After being in the top spot for four straight weeks, the final chapter in The Hunger Games film series finally toppled. It’s okay, Lionsgate made their money and now they’ll just have to wait for the Blu-Ray/Digital release. This shouldn’t surprise anyone since it was more or less the same crowd seeing Star Wars.
5) Creed- $5.1M ($87.9M Total)
Since this is likely the last week in the Top 5 for Creed, there isn’t much to say except we’re looking forward to any type of continuation to this franchise. Good job Sly, you did a good job here.
That my friends was an intense box office recap session. I think I need to take a nap. Sadly, I’ve got movies to watch (I feel like seeing Apollo 13 today), and real jobs to apply for (unless someone wants to pay me for this gig…yeah…didn’t think so).
One thing I worry about is that we continue to teach Hollywood and their evil Tribunal the wrong lessons. Everyone went to see Star Wars because it was Star Wars and we had faith it was handled properly by J.J. What they learned: “Franchise all the things! Revive every film from the 1970’s! Reboot everything!” They’ve heard this lesson for so long it’s more of a mantra they chant than something new.
Have a great week my friends and wake up, I know you saw Star Wars four times, but falling asleep in the shower is dangerous to yourself and others.
Good morning Bleary-Eyed fans! We’ve got a quick recap of last weekend’s box office results, but first we have to continue to show you that 20th Century Fox is on a roll with the trailers. Last week we brought you the X-Men: Apocalypse trailer, and yesterday they dropped another bomb on us: Independence Day: Resurgence trailer. Check it out:
Now I don’t know about you, but they teased out just a little bit and it really felt good to see a few familiar faces popping up. And the poster work was done really well and extremely simple:
At any rate, I really enjoyed the trailer. It had a great feel and of course the lesser Hemsworth brother is always welcome in my action movies. Just glad he’s not fighting with a crossbow this time. Missing however is Will Smith. I know we all knew he wasn’t doing this film early on, but come up Fresh Prince, you did a third Men in Black movie, would this paycheck had been so hard to cash? Eh, I saw one or two black dudes in the trailer, so maybe one of them will be Smith’s character’s step-son. Let the speculation begin! Oh, also of particular excitement was the famous Bill Pullman’s “Independence Day” speech from the first film playing over the end of the trailer, well done trailer editors.
Anyway, now that we’re all tearing up, erh, got soap in our eyes, let’s rinse off and get on with the Box Office Countdown from last week!
1) The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2- $11.3M ($244.5M Total)
Again, surprising only those with anterograde amnesia, the last Hunger Games film dominated the top spot for the last time. Four weeks in a row at number one wasn’t a bad run, but I don’t believe Hemsworths, Sutherlands, or Jennifer Lawrence will stop anything from a “Galaxy far far away”.
2) In the Heart of the Sea- $11.0M
The better Hemsworth brother did his best to best the Girl on Fire, but sadly this Ron Howard film didn’t really have the same punch of Apollo 13 or one of the Da Vinci Code movies (which is saying something). I also had a few people tell me they were not going to see the film based on the nature of whaling in general. I totally agree that we shouldn’t make a species extinct, but isn’t this film about one taking revenge? Oh well, I didn’t make an effort to see it, instead I watch Tom Hardy play gangster brothers. I imagine Legend was much better. Still disappointed, this film had not only The Scarecrow but the new Spider-Man in it and it came out just “meh”. All I’ll say is that Netflix needs to put Ron Howard back to work as the Arrested Development narrator.
3) The Good Dinosaur- $10.5M ($89.7M Total)
Pixar’s latest film continued to plod along after a lackluster opening and will only be a slight cushion to the enormous butt that Star Wars will have. Maybe that was Disney’s plan: release a sub-par Pixar film for the kids that might get scared during Star Wars.
Perhaps Disney will allow Pixar to go back to releasing a movie just once a year. I know the brilliant Inside Out was the only Pixar movie I needed this year. I think the 2016 slate looks better. Going back to ocean isn’t going to hurt anyone.
4) Creed- $10.1M ($79.3M Total)
Continuing to impress, the spiritual successor to the Rocky franchise is holding its own in the ring (see what I did there?) A couple sources put the production value at only $35M, so New Line, MGM, and Warner Bros’ are going to make a pretty tidy profit on this one. Pretty likely to see a sequel to this film. If they get the whole group back together, who I gushed over, then I’m all for it. I also don’t see any other boxing movies or the lesser sport, UFC, coming down the pipeline, so any Creed sequel won’t have any stiff competition and I welcome the continued story.
5) Krampus- $8.0M ($28.2M Total)
I have been debating on seeing this film since it came out. My original intent was to go see it immediately, but I ended up seeing Mockingjay Part 2 again (see #1 box office position above). From what I’ve heard, it’s not much more than a Christmas-y type horror/comedy. I’ve heard some pretty bold comparisons, so I may just have to break down and see this film for myself sometime this week. Maybe on Thursday, the crowds won’t be that bad, right?
Thus we have another morning shower while discussing last week’s box office. Of course make sure to thank Bill Pullman for putting soap in our eyes. Oh, and how could we forget the amazing Jeff Goldblum for saving us once again. Perhaps this time he’ll use an iPad. Funny how Steve Jobs inadvertently saved the Earth.
Hello Bleary-Eyed Fans. It’s Wednesday and I’m not lazy this week so it’s time for our weekly (sometimes) segment of Star Wars Celebration we call:
Running across this week’s post via Reddit/Facebook was a pure joy. It’s basically a stop motion film of Stormtroopers setting up a Christmas tree. I really wish they’d come and do mine because I really don’t want to do it.
Well, I’ll get out of the way and let the creator of these awesome photos get the credit and the laughs he deserves:
Hopefully you clicked through all of those and enjoyed them as much as I did. Make sure you go onto the creator’s page and share it with others. Of course you could share our post, but I think the original artist deserves more credit. Also, this was done a little while ago, so the last image referring to “19 Days” til The Force Awakens releases is so 4 days ago.
Good Morning Bleary Eyed Fans and welcome to a special segment of Wednesday Wars!
Yes, it’s that time again that we celebrate all things Star Wars and continue our countdown till we can return to a Galaxy Far Far Away. This is a special session of Wednesday Wars as we salute the Veterans of our Local Galaxy and those from long time ago in a Galaxy Far Far Away.
First off, we want to make it clear that we at I Watch Too Many Movies will not express our own personal beliefs on war and the various outcomes. Today is meant to honor those that chose or were chosen by their Governments, Resistances, or Empires to fight for their cause. Even if that cause was to enslave an entire galaxy. Now, onto our countdown!
5) The Sith Order
While many would call the Sith the primary antagonists in the Star Wars Universe, I propose that they were fighting a Holy War against the Jedi Order. Their basic dogma was one of control and order while exploiting the Force for power, aggression or personal gain. Unfortunately for many Sith, this inevitably led to both imperial conquest and their own self-destruction. Tyrannical despots such as Emperor Palpatine are prime examples of how their belief caused corruption, pain, and enslavement of others while engineering their own downfall. Other Sith, such as Darth Vader, who turned to the Dark Side due to fear and love for another were manipulated into the Sith Order’s Doctrine. Above we honor Darth Vader, previously Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, by presenting the only remaining fragment of his existence. A powerful reminder to not let Religious Dogma, fear, and charismatic tyrants influence you or anyone you hold dear.
4) The Jedi Order
Similar in many ways to the Sith, the Jedi Order were an ancient monk-like peacekeeping organization unified by the belief and observance of the Light Side of the Force. Again we have many heroes and veterans of the Jedi Order. One of the greatest Jedi to ever have lived perished after a long life of 874 years. We honor Jedi Master Yoda:
Due to a cruel purge of the Jedi Order by Emperor Palpatine, many of the veterans of The Clone Wars were exterminated quickly once the Emperor seized power of the Galactic Senate and formed the Empire. One such fallen hero, Jedi Master Mace Windu, was the first to be claimed by the rise to power of Emperor Palpatine. We honor this brave warrior:
A final hero and veteran of The Clone Wars, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, also known as General Kenobi, fought in a noble manner for the Jedi Order and Peace in the Galaxy. Master Kenobi was one of the only survivors of the Jedi Purge known as “Order 66”, thus beginning a silent and lonesome war against the Galactic Empire and even his friend and apprentice Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker.
We salute Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi as after defeating what his friend had become, he continued honoring the Jedi Order by caring for the offspring of his fallen friend. Master Kenobi met his end at the hands of his old apprentice, now the mechanized Sith Lord, Darth Vader. He also assisted the Rebel Alliance by taking part in the initial rescue of Leia Organa and saving young Luke Skywalker from Vader which would eventually be key to their victory in the Battle of Yavin. We honor Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi:
3) The Galactic Empire
While under the control of The Sith Lord, Emperor Palpatine, the veterans from the many engagements with the Rebel Alliance, remnants of the Galactic Senate, should be known but still held accountable for the various atrocities they were commanded to inflict upon innocents and other peaceful races and species in the Galaxy. Before becoming the Stormtroopers of the Galactic Empire, many were part of The Grand Army of the Republic during The Clone Wars. These veterans were once comrades in arms with the Jedi commanding during The Clone Wars. One such veteran, the Clone Trooper known as Commander Cody (CC-2224) fought with Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi until he was compelled to turn against his long time ally with his implanted loyalty program. Like all of his Clone brethren, Commander Cody executed Order 66, the Galactic Jedi purge, without question or ability to resist. His career ended with betrayal but as it was engineered into his very DNA (and brain), we still honor his service:
After The Clone Wars, many Clone Troopers were converted to the elite soldiers known as Stormtroopers to serve in the militia of the newly formed Galactic Empire. Once Clone production was slowed, and eventually halted, as others joined the Imperial War Machine, Stormtroopers became nameless soldiers of innumerable numbers. The conflicts in which they battled the Rebel Alliance, Stormtroopers were considered extremely expendable by Emperor Palpatine. After being defeated at the hands of the Rebels, prisoners of the Battle of Endor, and other conflicts throughout the Galaxy, many Stormtroopers were forced to see the horrors wrought by Palpatine. Some went into hiding and others began to develop an Imperial Remnant known as The First Order many decades later. Today we honor the fallen, the controlled, and remorseful Stormtrooper men and women:
2) The Rebel Alliance
Opposing the Galactic Empire, the Rebel Alliance has many heroes to mourn and even veterans that are still forced to continue the fight for freedom from the oppressive Galactic Empire and its Remnants, The First Order. Chief among the heroes of the Rebels is Jedi Knight (and now possibly Master) Luke Skywalker. Trained by Jedi Master’s Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda, Skywalker was integral to the fall of the Galactic Empire. First, single-handedly winning The Battle of Yavin by destroying the Original Death Star with The Force and Obi-Wan’s guidance, then conquering a personal battle against the Sith Lord Palpatine by refusing to kill his father, former Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, in the form of Darth Vader. This eventually lead to the downfall of Palpatine at the hands of Darth Vader, who had been redeemed by his son. While now in suspected isolation, Luke Skywalker remains a glorious veteran of the Galactic War.
Considered two of the bravest and most heroic soldiers: Han Solo and his long time companion, the Wookiee known as Chewbacca or “Chewie” to Han. Both heroes became renown Veterans of the Rebel Alliance by assisting Luke Skywalker in the destruction of the Original Death Star in the Battle of Yavin, supporting multiple rescues of the Rebel leader, Princess Leia Organa, and lead attacks against the Empire in the Battle of Endor, aided by the local inhabitants of Endor, the Ewoks. His ship, the now legendary Millennium Falcon held up against all odds and continues to be General Solo’s trusty starship.
Other heroes and veterans of the Galactic War who fought on the side of the Rebels are also honored below:
1) The United States Armed Services
While not part of any Galaxy Far, Far Away, the men and women who are veterans of all wars, conflicts, and engagements are honored today in the United States on Veteran’s Day.
Again, today’s Wednesday Wars post was mostly satire and fiction, we are not sharing our own personal opinions on war. However, we mourn the loss of all life in any conflict. This Veteran’s Day, please attempt to understand the hardships many Veterans suffer each and every day. From homelessness, neglected healthcare needs, or psychological trauma, many Veterans could use assistance. There are many ways to support Veterans, but this is entirely your own prerogative and we leave it completely up to you. As stated above, we are just presenting satire about the Veterans of the Star Wars Universe and some insight into what Veterans face here in the United States.
Join us next week as we choose a lighter topic for Wednesday Wars and continue the hype and countdown to the film, as we’re just over a month from the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens! Until then, may the Force be with you and many others that need it.
This post is personally dedicated to my Grandfather (PawPaw) who is a Veteran of the Korean War and has been lucky with his care since returning home in 1953.
Welcome all you Bleary-Eyed fans to Wednesday Wars!
Yes, it’s that time of week we like to celebrate the upcoming release of The Force Awakens with a handy countdown clock and a sweet sweet does of something amazingly Star Wars….y.
As the internet was being fed through my brain-mush last night, I happen to come across a very talented individual who mashed up the music from the final trailer for The Force Awakens with footage from the Original Trilogy. All I can say is that it is definitely worth a peek. So, for your viewing pleasure enjoy Medley Weaver’s (I’m trying to give credit to the creator, sorry if I linked to the wrong person) most excellent trailer:
The music just fits, and the dialogue could not have been more in tune with the mood. I would compare it to the original trailers, but I don’t trust any of them on the internet. Someday we should do a study about movie trailers and how they have changed over the many decades. All I remember is the Don LaFontaine doing his “In a world…” bit before almost every film. Those were good times.
Not a lot for today, but we wanted to make sure you all got your dose of Vitamin Force and stoke the hype machine’s engine a little more.
Enjoy your week Bleary-Eyed fans and May the Force be With You…but it’s kind of an hourly thing, so we’ll need it back by 5.
Happy Wednesday Bleary-Eyed fans and you know what that means…
It’s October 14th!
Wait, that’s not right, well, it is October 14th, but Wednesday means it is time for…
You’ll have to forgive your Movie Overlords, because not only are both of us working our Dictator butts off, but some of us are on vacation and decided to drive for hours, drink straight Captain Morgan for an hour, then pick up his phone and decide everyone needs to know his life story.
So, we’re feeling pretty lazy today, but it’s not going to stop us from bringing you top tier Star Wars weirdness. Since we haven’t received any submissions from our fans, I had to scour the Internet to find something relatively new and unique (believe me, don’t Google “Strange Star Wars Things“). But deep into the Dark Side of the Internet I did go and what your hero, Jedi Master Bruce Garrett (I know it’s not that inspired, but better than Anakin Skywalker…stupid name) found were these:
From a UK based company called Irregular Choice, these babies combine the rubber bottoms of a sneaker with the soul crushing high heel of the Classic Luke Skywalker lightsaber from Episode VI and VII.
I love the design, but the practicality is pretty much non-existent here. I suppose you could say that about most high-heels, but with a heel that is made out of a blade weapon of plasma and lasers just seems unruly. Here are a couple more shots:
Now I can neither confirm nor deny my desire to see a woman in one of these, but I’ll let you know that it’s not likely you’ll see me in a pair anytime soon. But if you have to walk down the red carpet for The Force Awakens, I suppose you could do worse:
All images are credited to the incredibly talented Irregular Choice team who have many more hell and flat choices and some really unique purses. Head over there and Like/Share their page because they deserve the love.
While you’re on Facebook, don’t forget to help out your Movie Overlords and share our page. We appreciate everyone who is already part of our community, but we command you to bring in more minions!
Happy Wednesday all you Bleary-Eyed fans! It is of course time for…
Our submission today comes from one of the most talented Jedi Knights in the known Galaxy, but that does not include South Carolina, they’re on their own and I don’t think he would even go there. At any rate, Jedi Knight Brik’z is what we in the Universe call a builder. Not only does he work tirelessly to vanquish Sith from the Galaxy, but his specialty with The Living Force is construction. Some say that as a Youngling, Brik’z would often spend his time creating constructions in the Jedi Temple.
In fact, his mastery of the mysterious substance known as Laygeaux is unparalleled in the Galaxy (and this time I include South Carolina).
Below I ask you to witness Jedi Knight Brik’z creation of the infamous villain known as Grand Admiral Thrawn:
For those of you who have never read the “Heir to the Empire” Trilogy by the insanely talented author Timothy Zahn have missed out on the best story since The Empire Strikes Back. Also, I don’t care how you do it but if you’ve missed out on these books, remedy that now. In fact….These ARE the books you’re looking for…. *hand wave*
At any rate, Thrawn was a tactical genius who, even though the Emperor was completely xenophobic, managed to rise to the rank of Grand Admiral. In fact, his ruthlessness and tyranny are unmatched in the Star Wars Universe and unless Kylo Ren can come up with multiple-world dominating strategies (even minus a Death Star), he’s not going to hold a candle to Grand Admiral Thrawn.
We thank Jedi Knight Brik’z for showcasing his talents and wish him luck as he ages and eventually is a Jedi Master of Laygeaux.
Until next week, May the Force be Ever in Your Favor.
Good evening Bleary Eyed Fans. Is everyone settled in and ready for another weekend of box office mayhem? Not likely. I doubt Hotel Transylvania 2 and The Intern are going to break any records, but you’ll still get your review from your everyday trusted idiots, me and The Manchicken.
Thursday was supposed to be a “Throwback Thursday” review day (which I totally botched) about The Monster Squad. I was going to get on here and tell you how awesome it was and has aged extremely well, especially Stan Winston‘s excellent creature designs, but no one from the movie really went anywhere. No Stand by Me luck here.
That’s actually it, I didn’t have too much more, so consider Throwback Thursday a success (stop looking at my past failures and look at the failures I’m committing now. Note- I didn’t make the pumpkin what it was, but I stood by and watched it happen.)
On Friday’s we figured we could get a little work out of our fans. Each Friday, we want you to fill in the gaps that Hollywood left there like a sinkhole. Do you know if the top stops spinning in Inception? Ever wanted to tell everyone about how Clerks was actually a sequel to National Lampoon’s European Vacation? Everyone has their own head cannon and we want to know.
Today I’m going to tackle one of the silliest logical skips of all time: Anakin Skywalker’s fall to the Dark Side (and bonus, why would Padme ever love him??)
So here goes my grand theory of how a young boy with adventure on his mind and amazing skill turns into a child murderer. It also explains why Padme could ever fall in love or even marry such a childish and horrible human. My theory hangs on seven words spoken by Obi-Wan in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope:
“These aren’t the Droids you’re looking for. ”
Jedi mind tricks. Said to only work on the weak minded. Well, when Anakin is concerned, Padme still sees that sweet boy who gave her a beautiful hand carved necklace and helped save her planet. Now Anakin and her are thrust together and have several, and very lame romantic moments (especially after he admits to killing an entire village of Sand People). Whether Anakin was doing it on purpose or not, he was Jedi Mind Roofying the crap out of her. Just subtle little work from such a powerful Jedi, of course she’s susceptible. Even if he didn’t know he was doing it, he wanted it. So you have an extremely immature and powerful Jedi who desires this woman and has never had any self control let alone a stable childhood, alone with a young woman who wants to keep the Galaxy together, but is forced to hide because everyone wants to kill her. Seriously, that sounds like a situation ripe for Jedi Mind Rape. Now we look at his ultimate fall and the creation of Lord Darth Vader.
Just as Anakin manipulates Padme (subtly and over a long period of time), so does the Emperor do to him. Simple human manipulation at first, but once his mind becomes open, he starts using stronger methods. Now Anakin attempts to resist (unconsciously) but Palpatine knows how to push his buttons and Anakin is so clouded with mistrust and worry, he doesn’t see the Sith Mind Control at work. Hell, the future is even so clouded by the Dark Side Palpatine was generating that even Yoda, the most powerful Jedi, could not sense who the Sith Lord was. It’s no wonder that manipulation and Sith Mind Control worked so easily on Anakin. It was only a brief moment of clarity that he ran and told Mace Windu of Palpatine’s true nature.
Only once Palpatine is completely in Sith form and engaged, all those years of mind control come in and then Anakin snaps. First, protecting the Emperor by killing Mace Windu, losing all self will due to fear, and then his allegiance turned. The siring of Darth Vader is so easy and takes so little work on Palpatine’s part, all of his programming has already taken its toll. And to get Anakin to exterminate the Jedi left in the temple (and yes, I mean the Younglings too), he MUST have been completely Sith Mind Controlled. Even though he was an jerk, he wasn’t a monster yet. He was at his weakest psychological state, and all Palpatine had to do was give the command, just like Order 66.
Didn’t read my fancy words, here is the short version:
Anakin manipulates Padme into loving him, and his darkest deeds done in Episode III were done because of the mind control that the greatest Sith known in that Universe had manipulated a weak-minded, scared, and vulnerable kid.