Category Archives: Academy Awards

It’s two trailer Tues…..Hump Day!

Let’s face it, I really suck at updating this website. Something about how I would rather be watching The Flash or Supergirl on CW or eating lobster thermidor in my pajamas:

Stock photo of yours truly
Stock photo of yours truly, yes, abs included…ladies

Anyway, I suppose I have a real “job” (actually two), but I still enjoy writing about movies so much. Besides, I imagine hardly anything happened while I wasn’t doing this.
Bill Paxton

What in the holy windstorm? This is not right and I will boycott his death – #NotMyCorpse

Well that sort of puts a damper on things. One of my top favorite actors dies of complications from surgery. There are not supposed to be complications, that’s why it’s performed by a real licensed surgeon. Rest in Peace Mr. Paxton, you’re where tornadoes, aliens, or Kevin Bacon can’t get you. Well, there isn’t anything that could possibly make me feel better after that bit of news.

Oh, a new Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 trailer. And I know that James Gunn didn’t invent the trailer with a catchy song played over it (in case you were wondering, this time it’s Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’), but until he did the first Guardians of the Galaxy trailer. We were introduced to misfits, Chris Pratt, and “a bunch of a-holes” while the tune of Blue Swede’s ‘Hooked on a feeling’ was burrowing inside of our ears like a disgusting vagina monster.

We'll get to these guys soon
We’ll get to these guys soon

Like I said, that trailer didn’t break any new ground, but I don’t believe we’d have a sequel (let alone Ant-Man, Doctor Strange, and a freaking INFINITY WAR AVENGER’S FILM) if it wasn’t for that trailer. I know Iron Man was what started this whole Marvel (then Disney) train, but since when did Robert Downey Jr. help spawn this:

HUGE CAST
“I think we’re going to need a bigger set” – Russo Brothers

The rest of the beautiful trailer is guns, gadgets, one-liners, cute tree creatures, and Kurt Russell doing his best visual impression of Jeff Bridges:

"Yeah man it really tied the Marvel Cinematic Universe together" - The Dude, Roadhouse
“Yeah man it really tied the Marvel Cinematic Universe together” – The Dude, “Roadhouse”

Of course it looks incredible and no one is likely to miss Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, but in the worst segue ever, it’ll never win an Oscar.

She's not an Oscar, but I don't think fans know who she is either
She’s not an Oscar, but I don’t think fans know who she is either

Yeah, the 89th Academy Awards took place on Sunday. Last year I talked trash on the Oscars (and couldn’t guess the winners for crap), but at least I wasn’t the one announcing the awards.

"It wasn't me, I wasn't even there!" - Steve Harvey...sadly
“It wasn’t me, I wasn’t even there!” – Steve Harvey…sadly

That was the big news was that of all the critically acclaimed films nominated for Best Picture, Bonnie and Clyde themselves, stole the Oscar and gave it to La La Land. We don’t know if Faye Dunaway (Bonnie) or Warren Beatty (Clyde) did it on purpose , but La La Land wasn’t the winner. Come to find out that Moonlight actually won the Oscar for Best Picture. And in the classiest move since The Queen Tweeted to her Country last year, La La Land producer Jordan Horowitz announced that the real winner was Moonlight.

You= asdfasdfsf
You, Jordan Horowitz, are the real MVP

My personal choice would have been Hidden Figures, but honestly, I only saw one of the other films that were nominated, so in this case, you really shouldn’t take this film reviewer’s opinion (although Hidden Figures really is amazing). While the Academy is still science fiction adverse (umm, Arrival), I had my own personal “Best Picture” in 2016…

"And I'm quite the looker" - Deadpool
“And I’m insanely sexy” – Deadpool

It was either that or Captain America: Civil War.

Oh yeah, forgot about these things
Oh yeah, forgot about these things, never forget about these terrifying creatures

Have a good night.

-Darkmovienight

The 85th Academy Awards® will air live on Oscar® Sunday, February 24, 2013.

Post Oscar Stuff or Crap that was Okay Last Night

Good morning Bleary-Eyed Fans, did you watch the Academy Awards last night?  No?  Neither did we.  In fact we cared so little, our post was both late, terrible, and unfinished.  Also, as far as predictions, we only got one: Leonardo DiCaprio won his Best Actor in a Leading Role.

Okay, he earned this party
Okay, he earned this party

All I can say is that it seems like a little bit of a pity Oscar.  Not that Leo doesn’t deserve an Academy Award…it’s just that he should have got it one of the other four times he was nominated.  The Revenant just wasn’t that special (and pretty inaccurate).  Oh well, he won, are we done now?

Of course there was a ton of racist issues this Oscars (pretty much like the 87th preceding ones), from boycotting, asking Chris Rock to step down as host, and even the absolutely correct viral statement: #oscarssowhite.  There wasn’t anything we could do and it’s just going to keep happening.  I wish I could say something different, but I can’t. It’s just a despicable time we live in where all people are not created equally.  It’s a shame, but all a movie dissector like myself can do is point it out and choose not to be like those that perpetrate hate and racism.  Although I will say, even though he has quietly slipped into the “B-List” of acting, Chris Rock had some good things to say about it.  I was proud of him monologue (or what I caught snippets of this morning) and while it wasn’t a joke, he didn’t hide anything.

Dude rocked the WHITE suit and told it like it is
Dude rocked the WHITE suit and told it like it is

There are no videos of the full monologue yet, but I’d like to recount my absolute favorite part from Chris Rock’s discussion on race, how awful the Academy Awards are, and how strange the whole damn this is in general:

“But things are changing.  Things are changing.  We got a black Rocky this year.  Some people call it “Creed.”  I call it “Black Rocky.” And that’s a big, that’s an unbelievable statement.  I mean, cause, “Rocky” takes place in a world where white athletes are as good as black athletes.  “Rocky” is a science fiction movie.  There’s things that happened in “Star Wars” that are more believable than things that happened in “Rocky”, O.K.?”
*Sweating bullets* Finn can't tell if that was more racist or less...
*Sweating bullets*
Finn can’t tell if that was more racist or less…

Alright, we can agree I can’t fix racism.  But what I can do is report on some of the better things of the night.  Starting with the big winners:

  • Best Picture: Spotlight
  • Best Actor in a Leading Role: Leonardo di Caprio for The Revenant
  • Best Actress in a Leading Role: Brie Larson for Room
  • Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Mark Rylance for Bridge of Spies
  • Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Alicia Vikander for The Danish Girl
  • Best Director: Alejandro González Iñárritu for The Revenant 
  • Best Animated Feature Film: Inside Out by Disney/Pixar
  • Best Visual Effects: Ex Machina by Andrew Whitehurst, Paul Norris, Mark Ardington, and Sara Bennett
  • Best Original Song: Writing’s on the Wall by Sam Smith for Spectre
  • Most Awards Won: Mad Max: Fury Road with Six Awards

Let me toss in a bit of thoughts regarding the winners after the jump.

The 85th Academy Awards® will air live on Oscar® Sunday, February 24, 2013.

First Annual Oscar Clobber or The First time we rant about the Academy Awards

I honestly had a real plan for this article.  It was going to be a week long event in which we had guest writers discussing things like #OscarsSoWhite, how terrible the panel is due to ridiculous rules, eligibility, and voting, but I just can’t seem to care enough about the award show to make a real effort at posting something profound.

Seriously, I just Googled "Apathy" and this was the first image that came up...
Seriously, I just Googled “Apathy” and this was the first image that came up…

In lieu of an article about how awful the Oscars have become (and pretty much always have been), I’m going to go over some of the major categories and see if we can find something of interest somewhere among them to talk about.

VmHnLxj

Academy Award for Best Actress

First off, I really don’t like the fact that we still distinguish between “Actresses” and “Actors” via gender.  They are all actors and should be treated as such.  In my opinion, we should really put Jennifer Lawrence (nominated this year for the movie Joy) up against Eddie Redmayne (nominated for his (her?) performance in The Danish Girl) or Matt Damon (nominated for The Martian).  If you’ve seen Joy, you know it’s no where near the caliber of her past performances (Silver Linings Playbook, American Hustle, etc.), but it’s still a well put together movie and for her part, she does everything right and again, showcases an immense amount of talent.

"Don't put metal in the SCIENCE OVEN!" Still my favorite line of that movie and quite possibly 2014.
“Don’t put metal in the SCIENCE OVEN!” Still my favorite line of that movie and quite possibly 2014.

Anyway, there are other actors (yes, screw the word Actress) that are nominated as well, here is a quick round up:

  • Cate Blanchett, in Carol Aird, as Carol
  • Brie Larson, in Room, as Joy “Ma” Newsome
  • Jennifer Lawrence, in Joy, as Joy Mangano
  • Charlotte Rampling, in 45 Years, as Kate Mercer
  • Saoirse Ronan, in Brooklyn, as Eilis Lacey

IWTMM’s Prediction: Jennifer Lawrence

Of course it has to be Jennifer Lawrence.  Everyone loves her (she is really seemingly charming by all accounts) and if the panel even recognized any other actor’s name in that pile, then I would be surprised.  Just give her another one, let her trip on the stairs or her dress *cue laughter* and a “surprised” winning speech.

IWTMM’s “Who Should Have Won”: Charlize Theron as Imperator Furiosa in Mad Max: Fury Road.

Seriously, you’ve likely seen Mad Max: Fury Road, the other nominations, not too likely.  If you have (or even if you haven’t), Charlize Theron kicks so much ass in two hours than all the “Action Stars” of the 80’s combined.  I totally think she should go all Kanye West on the Winner.

"I'm gonna let you finish, but first, I want to shoot a few idiots in the crowd." -Charlize Theron
“I’m gonna let you finish, but first, I want to shoot a few idiots in the crowd.” -Charlize Theron

Academy Award for Best Actor

 I believe they add, “in a Leading Role” to this title, but I don’t really care (that’s going to be a theme during this whole article).  Let’s take a look at our powder-white nominees:

  • Bryan Cranston, in Trumbo, as Dalton Trumbo
  • Matt Damon, in The Martian, as Mark Watney
  • Leonardo DiCaprio, in The Revenant, as Hugh Glass
  • Michael Fassbender, in Steve Jobs, as Steve Jobs
  • Eddie Redmayne, in The Danish Girl, as Lili Elbe / Einar Wegener

IWTMM’s Prediction: Leonardo DiCaprio

Leo has been passed over for this award in four separate years.  They skipped a year between nominating him so it didn’t look too suspicious, but I believe DiCaprio has been thoroughly snubbed.  It likely doesn’t make any difference to him.  Did you see what he got to do in The Wolf of Wall Street?

I can just see all the tears spewing from his gold-lined tear ducts...
I can just see all the tears spewing from his gold-lined tear ducts…

I mean, come on, you think Leo cares?  Does he want to win, probably, it’s seemingly a big deal to these Hollywood types.  But if a little gold statue is more important than the millions he rakes in for almost every film he does, then I really think the “art” in film is moot.

I think this is a bit more up everyone's alley...
I think this is a bit more up everyone’s alley…

Academy Award for Best….

You know what, I really don’t give a crap.  The Oscars are horrible.  The monologue is obnoxious and no matter who wins, someone is going to be upset.  I don’t even have enough apathy to finish this article.

IWTMM’s Prediction for Best Director: Adam McKay for The Big Short

IWTMM’s Prediction for Best Picture: The Big Short

Seriously, I don’t care.  The Big Short was a phenomenal movie with excellent actors, a horrifying reality, and was honestly both entertaining and filmed very well.  It’s on the “Unicorn List”.  It’s both entertaining and “Critically” acclaimed.  So, for my money, it’s going to come out the winner, but I really don’t care.  The whole thing is just a big Hollywood circlejer…….

We apologize for the inconvience as us at I Watch Too Many Movies attempt to appeal to all audiences, thus the ending of the review has been closed and censored.
We apologize for the inconvenience as us at I Watch Too Many Movies attempt to appeal to all audiences, thus the ending of the review has been closed and censored.

…..and that’s all I have to say about that.  At least I get to see Zootopia next weekend.

-Darkmovienight