Category Archives: Fantasy

Official Rogue One Trailer 2…The Resisting!

Hello fellow Bleary-Eyed Friends!

It’s been a long time since your Uncle Darkmovienight had anything of substance to say, but waking up this morning to a brand new Rogue One: A Star Wars Story trailer was just the kick in the pants this old reviewer needed to get out of bed, grab some coffee, oatmeal, and laptop and toss out a few hundred words!

sleep-walking
Although to be honest, I didn’t really wake up or get out of bed, it was more like I tried to use The Force to get my laptop until I had to go over and bring it back to bed with me…

So in this new and beautiful trailer, we’re treated to a little more of Jyn Erso and her rousing speeches, which will surely inspire the tiny Rebellion to take on the massive Empire in all out war.  We also get a look at how the brilliant Mads Mikkelsen is involved in this prequel to the original Star Wars: A New Hope.

"Oh no, hesa said the P-word!"
“Oh no, hesa said the P-word!”

Just tiny bits of musing from the trailer:

  • They said the name of the movie in the trailer!  You know it’s going to be quality when that happens.
  • Gotta love the menacing walk of Darth Vader to the nameless White Shirt.  Will always admit, Vader walking full speed at anyone is just terrifying.
  • Also, speaking of Vader, watching the character of Director Orson Krennic, portrayed by the talented Ben Mendelsohn, seemingly pleading and yelling at the Dark Lord of the Sith shows how passionate he is about this “technological terror”.  Makes me wonder where he is when Tarkin is talking about it in A New Hope.
  • The money shot of the trailer is really the hazy view we get of the completed Death Star rising above the clouds (it’s around the 1 minute mark if you want to see what I’m talking about, but it’s not like you’re going to watch the trailer multiple times or anything…

So there we have it, another fantastic trailer in the books from the House of Mouse and Lucasfilm.  From all the hubbub about re-shoots and changing composers, I believe everyone needs to temper their expectations just a bit.  I don’t think it’ll be a train-wreck, but I also don’t think it’s going to be anywhere near what J.J. Abrams accomplished with Episode VII.  Remember, we’re watching a film directed by the young Gareth Edwards who only has 7 film credits to his name thus far, so we’ll see what he can do.

But if you’re like me, your butt is going to be firmly planted in a seat when Rogue One: A Star Wars Story releases on December 16th.

-Darkmovienight

PS- Need to apologize to all those that suckle at the breast of I Watch Too Many Movie‘s reviews.  We’ve done a terrible job at keeping you up to date with the film world.

gross-hands
Just realized we haven’t had a Monday Morning Shower Report on the Box Office since JULY! You’ve gotta be pretty gross by now…

Although I also blame Hollywood since there really hasn’t been a film of note since Suicide Squad, and when that’s the benchmark, we all know this has been a lousy year of movie-going.  But we’ll try to do our best to update things more and get everyone involved again, especially with a Holiday Season packed with a new Marvel film, some movie about talking to aliens, a new Harry Potter film, new animated Ethnic Disney Princess film, one based on a Video Game Series, and even a film featuring the voice of Liam Neeson!  So we’ll keep you up to date and these films plus more reviewed in the next few months.

Swiss Army Man: The Most Sincere and Profound Fart Joke of Our Time

It’s not often that we find a film which starts with a person who’s about to hang themselves on a deserted island. Less frequent still are those which follow it up with a fart joke montage. This is such a film.

We start with Hank (Paul Dano) stuck on an island, by himself. He looks to be in poor condition, suffering from exposure to the elements, dehydration, hunger, and depression. As he’s about to yield himself to the mercy of the rope he notices a person who washed up. After he slips and damn-near succeeds in his now-aborted suicide attempt (rope breaks, he survives, watch the trailer), he races to the person (Manny, played by Daniel Radcliffe) only to find out that he is dead. He attempts to resuscitate the person with no success.

Despite his unsuccessful resuscitation attempt, Hank finds Manny useful in a number of ways, most of which I couldn’t begin to do justice to here. I will say that the fart joke is a common theme throughout, they were really committed to that.

The acting in this film was amazing. Daniel Radcliffe pulls off “dead,” and in-so-doing really caused me to spend some time thinking about what a challenge actually playing dead would really be. His character, Manny has a lot of experiences which Radcliffe really does well.

Hank is played by Paul Dano, who I never really paid that much attention to in the past but now is on my list of actors I follow. While some of the plot points and character development for Hank were cliché – we get it, you’re a smart, lonely and shy person; get over yourself Hank! – the delivery was incredible. You don’t expect to find sexual tension in a film with a man stranded on a deserted island and his best buddy corpse, but here it is and it was pretty good.

While I want to say that Sarah (played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead) is a tired love interest, she really played an interesting part near the end where the motivation of her character is to be profoundly creeped out and disturbed. She did that well, just as she did in 10 Cloverfield Lane (which I still totally need to review, though I watched it and so should you).

This film had one weak point: the ending. Everything up until the ending was amazing: the acting, the plot (minus cliché shy loser character), the photography, the sound, the music – I’ll get to the music in a moment! – and even the incredible lighting effects they had in the aquatic scenes… and then they had to destroy it with a unsatisfying ending.

will not tell you the ending of this film, it’s worth watching to see the ending, and you won’t understand what I mean about how unsatisfying it is until you’ve seen the full epic. I will help you imagine it though.

Do you remember Big Fish? Do you remember the endearing scene at the end where all of the people who were in the father’s stories showed up to send him off? Well, it kinda seems like they tried to do that, except instead of fanciful characters from stories, it’s a smattering of awkward characters vaguely referenced from earlier in the film. While they’re going for an endearing finale, it falls flat and even has a smattering of child endangerment. It’s not great.

One thing that this film really excelled at was music. Paul Dano and Daniel Radcliffe themselves perform a lot of the music in the film, and it’s all quite well done. I know that many folks don’t always focus that much on the soundtrack, but you’ll miss out on this film if you do not. I can’t wait to go to work tomorrow to see if I can find this soundtrack on Spotify or iTunes.

All-in-all this is an excellent movie. They won Sundance, and they really just hit it out of the park. I really enjoyed this film, and the fact that this film could be poorly summarized to being a 97 minute fart joke adds to that enjoyment.

Update

I found the music on Spotify, I encourage you to check it out. It’s pretty sweet.

Beauty and the Beast Trailer: Be Out Guest

Happy Monday you beautiful Bleary-Eyed readers!

We don’t have much in the realm of content this morning (while I will do the updated box office since we have some really cool numbers to go over), but based on the recent success of Disney/John Favreau’s The Jungle Book, I wanted to show off Disney’s latest live action update.

Since Maleficent (which was more of a “behind-the-scenes” version of Sleeping Beauty), Disney has been on a constant string of success with their live-action material from their animated films.  Like last year’s Cinderella:

Cinderella
Simply marvelous and beautiful if I do say so myself

To this years’ epic The Jungle Book, it’s now hard to ignore the charm and actually faithfull filmmaking going into these new live-action adaptations.

In 2017, Disney hopes that we will enjoy another update of a classic tale and bring the same care along with it.  As short as it is, I give you the very cinematic looking Beauty and the Beast teaser trailer:

I’m not sure if you saw the same teaser I did, but from the very beginning, with the cold and snow sweapt castle and the lone light at the top of the tower in the Disney logo, I was hooked.

This is my best effort at a screenshot along with cropping, so if it's terrible, I blame lazy cats.
This is my best effort at a screenshot along with cropping, so if it’s terrible, I blame lazy cats.  But isn’t the logo pretty?

I only have a few comments regarding the teaser.  First off, I’m not sure Ewan McGregor (portraying the sex-feind candalabra Lumiere) knows what a French accent actually is.  Hopefully his Jedi training will kick in and he’ll change a bit.  On the opposite spectrum, you have Ian McKellen’s Cogworth using every aspect of Magneto and Gandalf to not giving a flipping crap about what a French accent might be.  Even the titular star, Emma Watson as Belle doesn’t even try.  I will not say she’s stuck as Hermoine from the Harry Potter films, but I’d like the actors to do something like, oh I don’t know, THEIR JOB!

English Accent
He’s throwing shade at Kevin Costner.  This is a very deep inside joke, good luck at getting it.

Secondly, I have to give Disney such props by allowing Alan Menken to do the music for this film.  The reason I say that is that, is Menken also did the score to the 1991 Animated Beauty and the Beast.  It’s almost as if Disney is daring you to call them on it.

Their new bodyguards are pretty serious.
Their new bodyguards are pretty serious.

Finally, I have to get excited with them choosing Bill Condon to direct the film.  While he does have a few Twilight movies on his resume, we can’t hold mistakes against people who lose bets all the time.  The films he did that are spectacular far outweight anything else.

So, I’m excited that one of my favorite Disney films is getting updated with excellent actors, a competent director, and a fantastic (yet repetitve) scoremaster.  Now, if only they would only do my favorite Disney film:

hercules-1997-movie-poster
I will “Go the Distance” for this film. Yeah, I know that’s a bad joke, but hell I want this film.

-Darkmovienight

The-dark-tower-From-Stephen-King

Initial Photos of Idris Elba as Roland from The Dark Tower Film

“The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.”   – Stephen King, “The Gunslinger”.

The first sentence in what would become an epic sprawling book series created over several decades.

In my middle school years, I discovered an author who would change the course of my life.  As the terrible and disturbing years that counted as my adolescence gave way to an awkward period of pubescence, not many things were what you would call “comfort”.

Stolen stock image or not, this is as close as I could get to the look of me "reading" a "book", so, a little comfort.
Stolen stock image or not, this is as close as I could get to the look of me “reading” a “book”, so, a little comfort.

After using “reading material” (and I use that term loosely) to indulge in teenage desires, I soon found that certain genres took me away from the hell of bullying, school, and you know, general Middle School BS.  For me, Stephen King and his World’s did that.  The first novel I read was “The Green Mile”.  I was inspired by Michael Clarke Duncan’s (may he rest in peace) performance as the unfortunate victim of racism and fear. Not only did I feel a connection with Duncan’s character, John Coffey, but once the prose was displayed upon paper, I was forever enchanted by Mr. King and eventually became a “Constant Reader” as he likes to put it.  Now, obviously, I could not relate to the character in form of race, but being an outsider was simply a feeling that has never left me, even through to this day.

My second run-in with Mr. King’s work was a bit different.  After finishing “The Green Mile” on vacation in Colorado, I was brought along to a used bookstore in which I discovered the first three volumes of Mr. King’s dark fantasy series: The Dark Tower.   The odd tale of a “Authurian-Like” figure going on a journey through time, multiple dimensions, and the supernatural grabbed me and enveloped my feelings and thoughts. It took me almost another decade before I was able to finish the series (King began the series formally in 1982 and it was finished in 2004), but every step of Roland, The Gunslinger’s journey was my own as well.  I know many a person that feels the same way.

You can find the series on Amazon and be thankful you don't have to wait years between novels.
You can find the series on Barnes and Nobel (or wherever books are sold…always wanted to say that) and be thankful you don’t have to wait years between novels.

Then in 2012, Warner Brothers and Ron Howard announced they wanted to take on a huge project with a hybrid film/television version of The Dark Tower series.  HBO, one of the sister companies of WB would air the show and WB would distribute the film.  This ambitious announcement was also met with an announcement that Javier Bardem:

No country for old menthe creepiest creep

Silvathat ever creeped) was originally set to play Roland, but that fell through and Russell Crowe was given the option for the role.  That also fell through and everyone’s favorite weirdo actor, Matthew McConaughey was offered a role in the film, which many thought of him portraying The Gunslinger Roland as a given.

Well, WB backed out, and four years later, we’re staring down the sandalwood grip pistols of a joint Sony/Media Rights Capital/Columbia Pictures amalgamation filming right now!  That’s right, the start of The Dark Tower film is happening as you read this.  Directed by a relative unknown, Nikolaj Arcel, who’s most notable credit comes from writing the screenplay of the original Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.  This is an odd and bold move, but clearly Sony trusts this man and with Stephen King providing the bones, there is a lot that can go south, but let’s choose to ignore until the film is finished and we’re strapped in for a unique ride.

With all of that, the actual news of this story is, yesterday, we were given the first images of Roland himself, portrayed by Idris Elba, an actor whom Stephen King himself called “One of the Best Actors” Working Today.  High praise from such a legend.  So without further ado, see our “hero” for the first time:

Roland 1 Roland 3 Roland 4

All of these images come curtosey of Twitter (Mr. Elba’s I do believe) and if you’re familiar with the books or now intrigued by them, Idris Elba looks glorious as Roland, The Gunslinger.  Now you cannot have a protagonist without an antagonist.  This character first comes in the form of “The Man in Black” as mentioned above.  And while he didn’t get the lead role in the film, none other than Matthew McConaughey himself was cast opposite Idris Elba.

Preparation...
Preparation…

I realize this post doesn’t give much for the non-reader, but please understand that there is a massive following for these books and I encourage you, if you enjoy dark fantasy, science fiction, and any novel Stephen King has ever written, The Dark Tower is for you.  And as one of the main protagonists says: “Go then, there are other worlds than these.” -Jake Chambers, “The Gunslinger” by Stephen King.

darktower
May the road to the Tower be of quality and entertainment…

-Darkmovienight

Rogue-One-A-Star-Wars-Story-Logo

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Teaser Trailer or Music Really Does Give You Goosebumps

“This is a rebellion, isn’t it? I rebel.”

After months and well over a year of anticipation, the first trailer for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is here and the above line of dialog sets the tone for the movie itself.

After last year’s unbelievable success of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, many of us didn’t know where the franchise could take us next or even have a reasonable follow-up until Episode VIII.  This morning, Disney answered our queries with a trailer for the prequel to A New Hope.

And no, I don't think this is what they had in mind for a prequel. Unless there is a funeral scene...that would be funny.
And no, I don’t think this is what they had in mind for a prequel. Unless there is a funeral scene…that would be worth watching.

Rogue One is the first of many canonical movie tie-ins that Disney has dubbed “Star Wars Stories“.  I’m fairly certain they had that already and it was called the Expanded Universe, but those ass-clowns went ahead an tossed that all out.  I’m not bitter at all.

This is the story of Jyn Erso (portrayed by the English actress Felicity Jones).  You might have seen her in the Stephen Hawking documentary film The Theory of Everything.  Other than being an excellent Mrs. Hawking, Miss Jones has mainly done things across the pond.

Sadly not in this across the pond show
Sadly not in this across the pond show…

Jyn Erso seems to be a likable criminal.  And what do likable criminals do best in film?  Steal stuff!  And like every good heist film, the stakes have to be unimaginably high.  In this case, we already know what she’s looking for: the plans for the Death Star.  This is a heavy subject and one quest fans have been wanting to see for a long time.

I can be relatively sure that no one asked for this...
I can be relatively sure that no one asked for this…

Under the hood of this film are some interesting choices for director- Gareth Edwards, best known for the low budget film Monsters (2010) and rebooting the Godzilla (2014) franchise.  I’m completely down with someone new and fresh getting the reins of a Star Wars film, I just don’t know what Disney realize he was the man for the job while watching giant kaiju destroy cities.

"Well, it's gotta be better than this guy. Bring on the Godzilla guy."
“Well, it’s gotta be better than this guy. Bring in the Godzilla guy.”

Also of interest is bringing on a giant in the world of visual effects, John Knoll as a writer.  Knoll has been the Visual Effects Supervisor for amazingly gorgeous films like Pacific Rim, Avatar, and even Star Trek: First Contact.  He also worked on the Prequel Trilogy, but those films still looked good at least.  I wonder how his talents will be utilized as a writer.  Will it be more ambitious or will he have written much more manageable effects?  We’ll see.

There is a wild card in the cast.  Not only do we have Hoban Washburne or “Wash” (Alan Tudyk) and King of Important Plot Development- Forest Whitaker, but we have one of the most mysterious men in cinema: Mads Mikkelsen.  After facing off with Daniel Craig’s James Bond in Casino Royale, he decided to face off against Laurence Fishburne in the critically acclaimed, and down right disturbing, TV show Hannibal.

Please tell me that's Bantha meat. Image and worthwile article curtosy of Vulture
Please tell me that’s Bantha meat. Image and worthwhile article courtesy of Vulture

Seriously, I don’t know who he’s playing, and frankly, I just don’t want to think of him at all.  It’s safer that way.

Oh god it just got worse...
Oh god it just got worse…

Finally, we have the music.  Taking over for John Williams this time is Alexandre Desplat, the composer from the Harry Potter films, to Argo and Zero Dark Thirty.  He also worked with Edwards on 2014’s Godzilla, so it seems the two kept each other’s business cards at least.

What I have to point out is that the iconic works from A New Hope take on such a brilliant and beautiful life here that it instantly breathes that “Star Wars Feeling” into your earholes.  And of course Desplat’s own take of the Imperial March sounds absolutely haunting.  I didn’t even think that was possible.  Also, what’s up with movie trailers using piano to pay homage to the original score?

The rest of the trailer keeps some beautiful sights, combat, and all out war in the open and in the trenches for everyone to see and it’s really something.  Now I’m not shaking with excitement like I did with 2014’s The Force Awakens teaser, but I am really interested in Disney’s “Star Wars Stories” films.  Could be shameless money grab, or allowing more of the Galaxy Far Far Away to showcase more than just Jedi…

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story hits theaters December 18th and remember, when they debut the actual trailer for this one in September/October- BUY YOUR TICKETS THEN.

-Darkmovienight

The 85th Academy Awards® will air live on Oscar® Sunday, February 24, 2013.

First Annual Oscar Clobber or The First time we rant about the Academy Awards

I honestly had a real plan for this article.  It was going to be a week long event in which we had guest writers discussing things like #OscarsSoWhite, how terrible the panel is due to ridiculous rules, eligibility, and voting, but I just can’t seem to care enough about the award show to make a real effort at posting something profound.

Seriously, I just Googled "Apathy" and this was the first image that came up...
Seriously, I just Googled “Apathy” and this was the first image that came up…

In lieu of an article about how awful the Oscars have become (and pretty much always have been), I’m going to go over some of the major categories and see if we can find something of interest somewhere among them to talk about.

VmHnLxj

Academy Award for Best Actress

First off, I really don’t like the fact that we still distinguish between “Actresses” and “Actors” via gender.  They are all actors and should be treated as such.  In my opinion, we should really put Jennifer Lawrence (nominated this year for the movie Joy) up against Eddie Redmayne (nominated for his (her?) performance in The Danish Girl) or Matt Damon (nominated for The Martian).  If you’ve seen Joy, you know it’s no where near the caliber of her past performances (Silver Linings Playbook, American Hustle, etc.), but it’s still a well put together movie and for her part, she does everything right and again, showcases an immense amount of talent.

"Don't put metal in the SCIENCE OVEN!" Still my favorite line of that movie and quite possibly 2014.
“Don’t put metal in the SCIENCE OVEN!” Still my favorite line of that movie and quite possibly 2014.

Anyway, there are other actors (yes, screw the word Actress) that are nominated as well, here is a quick round up:

  • Cate Blanchett, in Carol Aird, as Carol
  • Brie Larson, in Room, as Joy “Ma” Newsome
  • Jennifer Lawrence, in Joy, as Joy Mangano
  • Charlotte Rampling, in 45 Years, as Kate Mercer
  • Saoirse Ronan, in Brooklyn, as Eilis Lacey

IWTMM’s Prediction: Jennifer Lawrence

Of course it has to be Jennifer Lawrence.  Everyone loves her (she is really seemingly charming by all accounts) and if the panel even recognized any other actor’s name in that pile, then I would be surprised.  Just give her another one, let her trip on the stairs or her dress *cue laughter* and a “surprised” winning speech.

IWTMM’s “Who Should Have Won”: Charlize Theron as Imperator Furiosa in Mad Max: Fury Road.

Seriously, you’ve likely seen Mad Max: Fury Road, the other nominations, not too likely.  If you have (or even if you haven’t), Charlize Theron kicks so much ass in two hours than all the “Action Stars” of the 80’s combined.  I totally think she should go all Kanye West on the Winner.

"I'm gonna let you finish, but first, I want to shoot a few idiots in the crowd." -Charlize Theron
“I’m gonna let you finish, but first, I want to shoot a few idiots in the crowd.” -Charlize Theron

Academy Award for Best Actor

 I believe they add, “in a Leading Role” to this title, but I don’t really care (that’s going to be a theme during this whole article).  Let’s take a look at our powder-white nominees:

  • Bryan Cranston, in Trumbo, as Dalton Trumbo
  • Matt Damon, in The Martian, as Mark Watney
  • Leonardo DiCaprio, in The Revenant, as Hugh Glass
  • Michael Fassbender, in Steve Jobs, as Steve Jobs
  • Eddie Redmayne, in The Danish Girl, as Lili Elbe / Einar Wegener

IWTMM’s Prediction: Leonardo DiCaprio

Leo has been passed over for this award in four separate years.  They skipped a year between nominating him so it didn’t look too suspicious, but I believe DiCaprio has been thoroughly snubbed.  It likely doesn’t make any difference to him.  Did you see what he got to do in The Wolf of Wall Street?

I can just see all the tears spewing from his gold-lined tear ducts...
I can just see all the tears spewing from his gold-lined tear ducts…

I mean, come on, you think Leo cares?  Does he want to win, probably, it’s seemingly a big deal to these Hollywood types.  But if a little gold statue is more important than the millions he rakes in for almost every film he does, then I really think the “art” in film is moot.

I think this is a bit more up everyone's alley...
I think this is a bit more up everyone’s alley…

Academy Award for Best….

You know what, I really don’t give a crap.  The Oscars are horrible.  The monologue is obnoxious and no matter who wins, someone is going to be upset.  I don’t even have enough apathy to finish this article.

IWTMM’s Prediction for Best Director: Adam McKay for The Big Short

IWTMM’s Prediction for Best Picture: The Big Short

Seriously, I don’t care.  The Big Short was a phenomenal movie with excellent actors, a horrifying reality, and was honestly both entertaining and filmed very well.  It’s on the “Unicorn List”.  It’s both entertaining and “Critically” acclaimed.  So, for my money, it’s going to come out the winner, but I really don’t care.  The whole thing is just a big Hollywood circlejer…….

We apologize for the inconvience as us at I Watch Too Many Movies attempt to appeal to all audiences, thus the ending of the review has been closed and censored.
We apologize for the inconvenience as us at I Watch Too Many Movies attempt to appeal to all audiences, thus the ending of the review has been closed and censored.

…..and that’s all I have to say about that.  At least I get to see Zootopia next weekend.

-Darkmovienight

Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens or How long til Episode VIII?

star-wars-force-awakens-official-poster

There isn’t a good way to start a review of the most anticipated film of 2015.  But, we have to start somewhere.  And all I can think of is…

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away….

The Star Wars franchise wasn’t in the best of shape.  From 1999 to 2005, George “These are my toys” Lucas released prequels to the beloved Star Wars franchise.  He wrote and directed each film and after 17 years since Return of the Jedi, his creation fell flat.  Perhaps it was an expectation that could not be matched by any film trilogy.  However, The Force Awakens seems to disagree with the anticipation vs. fan enjoyment argument, seeing as it could become the number one grossing film of all time.  That’s right, it’ll pass Avatar by James Cameron.

Can you even remember a quote from this movie?
Can you even remember a quote from this movie?

When the acquisition of Lucasfilm by Disney was completed (to the tune of $4.05 Billion) in 2012, they wasted no time in announcing new Star Wars films.  A great tremor was felt in the collective fan community.  How could the ‘House of Mouse’ ever do this franchise properly?  Could they possibly do the The Thrawn Trilogy by Timothy Zahn (which this reviewer thinks is the best Expanded Universe tale ever told)?  What would happen to the excellent Clone Wars animated show?  All questions, but no answers.

Best representation of the above statement.
Best representation of the above statement.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, news slowly trickled out about the state of our Galaxy Far Far Away.

  • From the movie production:
    • Who was the director?  J.J. Abrams.
    • How much CGI?  Lots, but hey they’re using practical effects too!
    • Who are the writers?  Those that did screenplays for The Empire Strikes Back, Toy Store 3, and Armageddon (don’t know about that one J.J.)
    • Would the original cast be part of it?  Maybe.

Reasonable expectations began for the film.  Then came the dark times. Clone Wars was cancelled in favor of a new Disney Star Wars cartoon. The Expanded Universe many fans had been reading since the 1980’s was disbanded as canon and rendered to a “Legacy” status. It seemed that our worst fears had been realized, Disney had taken away everything we loved and filled it with hollow promises of movies, shows, and merchandise.  Then a new hope arose in the form of a trailer in November 2014:

In my opinion, that’s when the tide changed.  Instantly everyone changed into a five year old with their Star Wars toys.  Of course a lot of people made fun of Kylo Ren’s cross guard lightsaber, but everyone was pumped and just like that…December 2015 couldn’t get here fast enough for anyone.

"No longer used for just Jedi/Sith battles: the Brand New Swiss Saber will take care of all your galactic needs. "
“No longer used for just Jedi/Sith battles: the Brand New Swiss Saber will take care of all your galactic needs.  Available for 12 easy payments of 1M New Republic credits.”

More trailers came out.  And so did the merchandise.  “Star Wars all the things!” cried every manufacturer and retailer.  I honestly don’t have a problem with this as long as it wouldn’t effect the storytelling.  Now if Luke Skywalker had been playing with the amazing Hot Wheels line while some dialogue, I think there might have been a problem.

There are a lot of things to be said about the film itself.  I could really go into the amazing space battles, which were the center of the action over any lightsaber battle shown.  Truly, it was well done.  Then there was the acting.  Every single person there was excited to be in a Star Wars filmed and their enthusiasm and talent showed.

Sorry buddy
Sorry Hayden, it wasn’t all your fault, you were too young and seduced by George

The old cast really meshed well with the new characters introduced and the delight was very evident on everyone’s face.  The writing, the actors, the sets, the CG, and the thrill…it was all there.  Star Wars is back and I cannot wait for the next iteration.

Didn’t read my fancy words, here is the short version:

You didn’t need my review to decide if you were going to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens, you were either going to see it or you were never going to see it.  Sure there are plenty questions left unanswered and of course I could really nitpick at details and find reasons why this issue or that issue…blah blah blah.  Nothing I can say will change what you’re going to do.  I can say it’s as simple as this: I really enjoyed the film.  And I hope you do as well.

And today is the last day of the year, and the last post of 2015.  We hope that you all enjoyed our random writing, be it reviews or some of our other content.

Manchicken and I will likely share our favorites from 2015 over the next few days, but the best all around movie in 2015 was The Martian.  There is lots more to say (comedy, action, failures, etc.) but I’ll get to that in another post.  For now, I wish you all a wonderful New Years and hope you’re looking forward to 2016 as I am!

-Darkmovienight

Star Trek 2009 Movie Poster

Five minutes away from my computer and the “Star Trek: Beyond” trailer gets released…

Can movie studios please STOP RELEASING TRAILERS THIS WEEK!  Not saying that I don’t appreciate it, but come on!  I’m unemployed here, I have to do something other than update this website!

"I like this job, it's exciting" Yeah Simon, but you'd probably get paid for this.
“I like this job, it’s exciting” Yeah Simon, but you’d probably get paid for this.

Anyway, check out the Beastie Boys’ new music video for “Sabotage” and some quick flashes of a more upbeat Star Trek than the last one. And I finally get to have Idris Elba in a franchise I love.  Also having Simon Pegg writing and Justin Lin directing, you could say I’m more excited for this one than Star Trek: Into Darkness.  If you’ve not seen Lin’s work, just know he’s the guy that did Fast Five (reinvention of the Fast & Furious franchise to make it actually interesting, oh and get The Rock and Vin Diesel to fight each other).

Forget Batman vs. Superman, THIS was the title match in 2011
Forget Batman vs. Superman, THIS was the title match in 2011.  They both played Khan though, it was weird

He also did all of the paintball episodes of the TV show “Community”. Those episodes had the best comedy and action I’ve ever seen since the original Die Hard.  So, you could say I’m excited.  However, I really don’t understand the title of “Star Trek” in this series since most of the action seems to take place on Earth or other planets.  Kirk says it himself in the trailer: “No ship, no crew….”  I would just like to see a little more *stars* in my Star Trek.  Is that so much to ask?

After all, we already had a stationary (pun intended) Star Trek
After all, we already had a stationary (pun intended) Star Trek

-Darkmovienight

X-Men: Apocalypse Trailer Reveal or I Still Think Cosplayers Dress Better

X-Men: Days of Future Past, in my opinion, was the pinnacle of the X-Men cinematic franchise.  I don’t know anyone who could have done a better job of bringing together two timelines and killing the movie that everyone hated in the franchise.

If you see this man, approach with caution, Brett Ratner is considered armed and untalented
If you see this man, approach with care.  Brett Ratner is considered armed and untalented. While we do not condone violence, we will make one exception

They finally gave us a look into what the next movie in the X-Men franchise will look like.  Honestly, I dig it.  Cast is top notch and Bryan Singer is sticking with an X-Men film.  Because we all know what happened when he switched sides.  There really isn’t anything I’m worried about here.  I’m sad we don’t get to see Sir Patrick Stewart or Sir Ian McKellen again (jeez, still with the knights), but McAvoy and Fassbender will do.  Not to mention we get to have another Evan Peter’s deliciously amazing Quicksilver moments:

Also, all the actors portraying the younger versions of the X-Men we’ve come to love and hate, *cough* “Cyclops”, look great, especially Nightcrawler:

Nightcrawler
Yeah, they made him Emo, but you can kinda see both eyes

Anyway, I’ve been looking forward to this for a long while, so even though 2015 had Avengers: Age of Ultron, Ant-Man, Fantastic Four and The Martian (what, are you really going to argue that Matt Daemon wasn’t a superhero in that movie when we had to include the Fantastic Four movie in this list?!), it looks like 2016 is shaping up to be pretty epic superhero movie wise itself:

The only thing we have left is to talk about how bad Apocalypse’s costume is, and we’re trying not to beat a dead horse, but c’mon Singer! Did your costume department even look at the comics?  As many have pointed out, cosplayers can even do Apocalypse more justice.

Comics
Comics
Cosplay
Cosplay
Failure
Failure

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hope you Bleary-Eyed fans enjoyed the trailer and are as excited as we are for 2016 and its stellar lineup of superhero films.

-Darkmovienight

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 or The Last Dystopian Movie with Kids I’ll Go See

HungerGamesMockingjay2Poster

This will be a quick review on The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 as Manchicken has already done a good job of displaying our feelings of the film.  The only reason I’m giving this five minute review is to do two things: 1) showcase the absolutely beautiful IMAX poster for the film that is above and 2) I, unlike Manchicken, never read the books, so you’ll get a slightly different opinion.  The old adage that “The book was better than the movie” has been repeated so often, it has become truth when it’s not necessarily correct.

Book is better
That campfire seems pretty precarious for a bunch of books…

At any rate, I really enjoyed the final film in The Hunger Games series. Unique concept and well executed film, all the way from the actors, directors, and special effects team.  As with most young adult novels, I had no knowledge of the books until the movie gained popularity and I saw people cosplaying as people from The Capitol.

Seriously, cosplay people take this stuff seriously
Seriously, cosplayers take this stuff seriously,
Amazing Cosplay
and sometimes do better than the actual costume designers…

Anyway, having not read the books, the light finish for Mockingjay Part 2 seemed a bit odd.  They hinted at long term damage, but from what I saw, everyone who made it out alive was just fine.  Revolutions come and revolutions go.  Each individual person reacts differently, even the figureheads for either side.

After reading Manchicken’s review, I can’t imagine why they would leave out much larger consequences of the battles other than people dying. It’s probably exactly for the reasons he mentioned, they couldn’t disfigure the pretty Jennifer Lawrence.

Couple of final thoughts:

-Where was Bradley Cooper?  He would have killed it as someone…I don’t know, he and Jennifer Lawrence just have good chemistry and I don’t think either of them should be in a film without the other.

-All the actors seemed exhausted and if it was just from doing these movies for the last four years, it really helped convince me of the weary survivor state all there characters were in.

-Donald Sutherland is just awesome.  Menacing and absolutely calculating.  His final scene was the single most insane moment of the movie.  I loved it.  Oh, Stanley Tucci, Woody Harrelson, and Philip Seymour Hoffman (rest in peace) were great as usual.

-I’m really dead tired with the genre of kids living and surviving in a dystopian future.  Don’t get me wrong, I know one somehow we will find a way to screw up the planet beyond all recognition, but kids just don’t have to be the heroes all the time.  Likely I won’t even attempt to watch this type of film again.  Looking at you Divergent and Maze Runner series.

Sometimes it's the lack of children that gives us the best dystopian future
Sometimes it’s the lack of children that gives us the best dystopian future

Didn’t read my fancy words, here is the short version:

Well filmed, well directed, and used some amazing set pieces.  Jennifer Lawrence was great and the Lesser Hemsworth brother was just fine (seriously, watch that video, anything Jennifer Lawrence says out of character is amazing).  Anyway, action was great, finished the series on a high note and was totally enjoyable.  Yeah, the break between Part 1 and Part 2 was odd, but I doubt many people would watch a movie in theaters for well over four hours.

Maybe I'm wrong
Maybe I’m wrong…

-Darkmovienight