Category Archives: Comic Book

It’s two trailer Tues…..Hump Day!

Let’s face it, I really suck at updating this website. Something about how I would rather be watching The Flash or Supergirl on CW or eating lobster thermidor in my pajamas:

Stock photo of yours truly
Stock photo of yours truly, yes, abs included…ladies

Anyway, I suppose I have a real “job” (actually two), but I still enjoy writing about movies so much. Besides, I imagine hardly anything happened while I wasn’t doing this.
Bill Paxton

What in the holy windstorm? This is not right and I will boycott his death – #NotMyCorpse

Well that sort of puts a damper on things. One of my top favorite actors dies of complications from surgery. There are not supposed to be complications, that’s why it’s performed by a real licensed surgeon. Rest in Peace Mr. Paxton, you’re where tornadoes, aliens, or Kevin Bacon can’t get you. Well, there isn’t anything that could possibly make me feel better after that bit of news.

Oh, a new Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 trailer. And I know that James Gunn didn’t invent the trailer with a catchy song played over it (in case you were wondering, this time it’s Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’), but until he did the first Guardians of the Galaxy trailer. We were introduced to misfits, Chris Pratt, and “a bunch of a-holes” while the tune of Blue Swede’s ‘Hooked on a feeling’ was burrowing inside of our ears like a disgusting vagina monster.

We'll get to these guys soon
We’ll get to these guys soon

Like I said, that trailer didn’t break any new ground, but I don’t believe we’d have a sequel (let alone Ant-Man, Doctor Strange, and a freaking INFINITY WAR AVENGER’S FILM) if it wasn’t for that trailer. I know Iron Man was what started this whole Marvel (then Disney) train, but since when did Robert Downey Jr. help spawn this:

HUGE CAST
“I think we’re going to need a bigger set” – Russo Brothers

The rest of the beautiful trailer is guns, gadgets, one-liners, cute tree creatures, and Kurt Russell doing his best visual impression of Jeff Bridges:

"Yeah man it really tied the Marvel Cinematic Universe together" - The Dude, Roadhouse
“Yeah man it really tied the Marvel Cinematic Universe together” – The Dude, “Roadhouse”

Of course it looks incredible and no one is likely to miss Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, but in the worst segue ever, it’ll never win an Oscar.

She's not an Oscar, but I don't think fans know who she is either
She’s not an Oscar, but I don’t think fans know who she is either

Yeah, the 89th Academy Awards took place on Sunday. Last year I talked trash on the Oscars (and couldn’t guess the winners for crap), but at least I wasn’t the one announcing the awards.

"It wasn't me, I wasn't even there!" - Steve Harvey...sadly
“It wasn’t me, I wasn’t even there!” – Steve Harvey…sadly

That was the big news was that of all the critically acclaimed films nominated for Best Picture, Bonnie and Clyde themselves, stole the Oscar and gave it to La La Land. We don’t know if Faye Dunaway (Bonnie) or Warren Beatty (Clyde) did it on purpose , but La La Land wasn’t the winner. Come to find out that Moonlight actually won the Oscar for Best Picture. And in the classiest move since The Queen Tweeted to her Country last year, La La Land producer Jordan Horowitz announced that the real winner was Moonlight.

You= asdfasdfsf
You, Jordan Horowitz, are the real MVP

My personal choice would have been Hidden Figures, but honestly, I only saw one of the other films that were nominated, so in this case, you really shouldn’t take this film reviewer’s opinion (although Hidden Figures really is amazing). While the Academy is still science fiction adverse (umm, Arrival), I had my own personal “Best Picture” in 2016…

"And I'm quite the looker" - Deadpool
“And I’m insanely sexy” – Deadpool

It was either that or Captain America: Civil War.

Oh yeah, forgot about these things
Oh yeah, forgot about these things, never forget about these terrifying creatures

Have a good night.

-Darkmovienight

Suicide Squad (or DC Marketing vs. Rotten Tomatoes) Quickie Review

suicide-squad-movie-poster-firstPromised that I wouldn’t let movie goers spend their money on Suicide Squad unless me, Darkmovienight, told you what a common human might think. And as much as I hate rating systems, I have to use one here. I give Suicide Squad a “B-” First off, what that rating means is that the film could have been much better, but by no means the trainwreck it was made out to be. Watching Suicide Squad was like practicing for something REALLY hard (1st half of the movie) and then cheating like a Russian Olympian and making all that practice wasted time. Critics that didn’t like the movie are just calling it out on cheating.

Give you some quick assurances: Leto was not a bad Joker but ends up low on the pile because the other actors who played the role were just amazing…also, they had more than 10 minutes of screen time (seriously, that’s what he got), so not enough to condemn or laud.

Harley Quinn was exactly what you want her to be. The character was perfect, but got just a bit annoying towards the end…just like you should EXPECT of Harley Quinn!

Will Smith brought his A-Game, so he wasn’t just collecting a paycheck. The other actors, did what they did and we’re likable or not shown enough to be cared about.

The action was fun but honestly, there was not enough and they could have been far more creative with these characters than they were. Yes, it was funny, but not hilarious. If you’ve read the comics, then you’d know the Squad is NOT zany and have your expectations set to “chuckle worthy” .

Something I loved was the films use of music for each character. Well done Mr. Ayer on that choice. Also, the cinematography during the scenes with the Joker were awesome. Really for the first time, the audience got to feel what it was like to experience “Joker Gas”, but not the laughing kind. I hope it’s done again in the Ben Affleck’s solo Batman films.

My problems: pacing. Too long to explain here, but the 3rd and 4th act seemed like they had pages ripped out of the script. Ayer should have known better but I felt his odd pacing like in his film Fury.  Also, as subject material goes, I honestly don’t feel the need for gore and violence just for the sake of it, but I bet you anything that they heard people complain Batman vs. Superman was too dark, they made this film a hell of a lot lighter. Which in Suicide Squad‘s case was a huge mistake. This should have been Deadpool level violence, cursing, and R Rated. Deadpool is just an antihero, the Squad is full of VILLAINS. They deserved to be let off the leash but there had to be a knee-jerk reaction from DC’s last outing.

Lastly, I have to say that DC is confused. They released the movie for review and the critics murdered it. Most companies that know a film will be a critical disaster put a hold on reviews until the day of release, but DC didn’t do that. What that tells me is that test audiences liked what they saw and DC let the reviews go out normally. When they came out atrocious, but test audiences enjoyed it,  they just don’t know what the hell to do.

Didn’t have time to read my fancy words? Read this summary. 

So, B-, if you are interested, go see it. You’ll have fun and come out and look for the Suicide Squad comics, and in my opinion, that’s the true success of a comic film. 

-Darkmovienight

X-Men: Apocalypse or “The third one is always the worst.”

X-Men Apocalypse Official Poster

In a summer where we’ve had Marvel’s Civil War, DC’s Batman vs. Superman, and even epic Netflix show Daredevil Season 2, I’m actually starting to see the fatigue about superhero films.  Not that any one of those I mentioned above were bad, in fact, I thought all of them were pretty awesome, but I will finally give into the roar of those having said there is too much out there.

Now that I look at it...even this old infographic is overwhelming
Now that I look at it, even this outdated infographic is overwhelming.  And realizing this is an OUTDATED one is kinda crazy…

Anyway, onto X-Men: Apocalypse.

I will say that I had a larger measure of excitement for this film for several reasons.  First, I just could not wait to see another one of Evan Peter’s Quicksilver moments.  Seriously, when I first saw X-Men: Days of Future Past, I wholeheartedly wanted to rewind the actual theater film to see it again and I doubt anyone would have complained.  Instead I just saw it in theaters another time before the Blu-Ray.  The next expectation was actually being a little bit in the dark about this villain and stories revolving around him.

Now after seeing the film, I have to give it up again to Evan Peters and Brian Singer.  I don’t know how they did it, but they managed to top the last Quicksilver scene.  And just because I love it, this was the first one:

I’ve sure you’ve all seen it, but it’s just too cool.  Absolutely one of the best scenes I’ve seen done in any action film in the past few years.  Now, with as amazing as that was, Peters’ scene was 10 times better and his role was expanded (one of the fatal flaws from the last X-Men).  So, for my enjoyment, the scene in Apocalypse was worth the price of admission right there.  So, it’s easy for me to say if your favorite part in Days of Future Past was Quicksilver’s, I don’t have to say anything else, go see X-Men: Apocalypse.

Just a teaser image...yeah, it's that cool
Just a teaser image…yeah, it’s that cool, and fast.

So my next level of excitement was built upon being a bit ignorant of Apocalypse himself.  Also, while watching the trailers, I couldn’t help but think “How the hell can they stop this seemingly ‘world-ending’ event?” It just looked like the stakes were really extreme and this team had never faced such a force.

This is where I felt the problems started.  The “world-ending” event created by Apocalypse and Magneto sure looked and sounded cool, but I really just didn’t feel anything for “the world”.  That’s an odd way of saying it, but the stakes around the world in the film seemed too cutoff. The final confrontation just didn’t measure up to what was promised. Lead me to being a bit disappointed.

And I REALLY wanted World War III
And I REALLY wanted World War III

For me, the “meh” ending left a sour taste in my mouth that likely colored most of my feelings for the film.  Have said that, the cast really still gels at all times.  James McAvoy is doing such a good job progressing as Xavier, each film he grows up and gets more hopeful for a world with mutants and humans.  I really like his take and as long as he’s in the role, I’ll never worry.

Fassbender continues to be the absolute best actor in these films.  His tortured past, the way he speaks to the other mutants, and even how he undulates between extreme violence to essentially being an awesome construction worker is amazing.  It seems that Singer has something out for Magneto because nothing good ever comes to this guy.  No spoilers here, but even attempting to live a normal life, he gets no brakes from Brian Singer or the writers.  It’s enough to almost make you feel really sad for the guy, but still, you know him as the consummate villain in X-Men.

Everyone else does a great job, but it feels like a bit of the dialogue was just phoned in by both the actors and the writers.  They spent a lot of time with the principal characters that you’d know from the other films and gave very little to the new additions.  Olivia Munn certainly looked like Psylocke, but I can’t even remember if she completed a full sentence.  It was pretty much that way for everyone else new.  Also, as much as I was excited to see some new, younger blood play the characters of Storm, Cyclops, Jean Grey (more on her later), and Nightcrawler, there was a feeling of them retreading the same ground…just with more teen angst and outfits.

Not saying "Emo-Nightcrawler" is a problem, and I'd totally dress like I was in the Thriller music video too in the 80's
Not saying “Emo-Nightcrawler” is a problem, and I’d totally dress like I was in the Thriller music video too if I was him, but there was just a feeling of “someone already did it better”.

My last few thoughts are still on the cast.  It’s hard not to love Jennifer Lawrence, but her Mystique was more Katniss this round than anything else.  I just have a feeling they don’t know how to use the character in this most recent series.  I just still cannot see a connection between Lawrence’s Mystique and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos’ version in the initial movie in 2000.  Of course Brian Singer could still find a way to make her hate so much that she’d become that person.  It won’t be anytime soon with Singer taking a break from the franchise.

I also just realized I've been spelling his name "Brian" instead of "Bryan". Tough, I paid good money to see his movie, I'm going to leave it.
I also just realized I’ve been spelling his name “Brian” instead of “Bryan”. Tough, I paid good money to see his movie, I’m going to leave it.  Also, the last time he left the franchise, we got Brett Ratner to finish the series, so he doesn’t deserve his precious “y”

One of the things I must say is that it wouldn’t be an X-Men movie without it staring or having Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine showing up.  I have to say that I really enjoyed the route they went in this film.  It was actually so cool and in light of an “R-Rated” Wolverine movie hitting soon, it makes me that much more excited for that film and not being bothered with the level of violence it could showcase.

Did I cause that???? Yes, yes I did.
Did I do that???? Yes, yes I did.

Finally, we have to talk about Sansa Stark Jean Grey.  Sophie Turner does what she can to make the role about a troubled mutant with too much power, but it just doesn’t come through.  Anyone who has ever picked up an X-Men comic or watched the first trilogy knows where this is going.  The Dark Phoenix is pretty much the only interesting thing for Jean Grey, but ever since the 1990’s cartoon, I just can’t take any more of that storyline.  Seriously, the fatigue I have takes up more space in my head that I can no longer remember my mother’s face.

This is her, right?
This is her, right?

The rest just had to deal with Apocalypse himself.  When you have Hollywood’s latest “Best Actor Ever”, the least you could do is give him some real meat to work with.  Sadly, Oscar Isaac is just lost in the film and unfortunately, as the main villain, he was pretty lame.  Maybe they didn’t portray him correctly, I mean, I don’t know squat about his character in the comics, but he just seemed like he had unlimited telekinesis and picked out four random bodyguard mutants.  There just wasn’t anything special about him.  At least when the X-Men are fighting Magneto or Trask and his Sentinels, then it’s an ideological fight where this was just a destruction measuring contest with Roland Emmerich. And sorry Singer, you lose that award.

"They like to hit the landmarks." -Jeff Goldblum, Independence Day: Resurgence
“They like to get the landmarks.” -Jeff Goldblum, Independence Day: Resurgence

Didn’t read my fancy words, here is the short version:

If you love Evan Peters’ Quicksilver or Michael Fassbender’s Magneto, you should be sold on this film.  Even casual X-Men fans will enjoy this and anyone enjoying the superhero genre films will like it.  But, if you’ve already taken in Deadpool, Batman vs. Superman, Civil War, and are really excited for Doctor Strange later this year…then RedBox wouldn’t be such a bad idea for this one.  Even with all the typical X-Men charm on display.

-Darkmovienight

Captain America: Civil War or The Sequel We Deserved

captain-america-civil-war

A friend just mentioned to me something that rang true.  It was something along the lines of: “I think it’s dumb that they made people ‘Pick a side with the whole #Team______ stuff’.  Especially if people picked #TeamIronman when you come to find out Tony is running his suits off of puppies.”

That’s where we start this review, Iron Man grinding up puppies for energy, you know this will be a fun one.  (A note from Future Darkmovienight, this review is our longest yet @ over 3k words.  I talk a lot about other things than the film, so feel free to skip to the bottom and read my recommendation.  -Sincerely, a man with sore fingers and bleeding eyes.)

After the disappointing combination of Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman in March, it was time to see what Marvel had to offer.  Pretty much anyone who had been paying attention the last few years would have known that Marvel was likely to knock it out of the park.  And honestly, they did.  I will say, Captain America: Civil War, did showcase one of my tenants of films: expectations vs. actual reaction.  The expectations were so high for this film, and it met those expectations. This results in just enjoyment of a film.  Unlike Captain America: The Winter Soldier, when no one really knew what to expect and it blew the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe into smithereens and left the collective minds of all fans splattered on top of the theater ceilings.

"I want to hear about more puppy grinding" says some of our weirder readers.
“After talking about brain matter on the ceilings of theaters, I for one want to hear more about puppy grinding as a fuel source.” says some of our more strange readers.

I’m going to do my best to not spoil anything in this film, which might be a moot point since it did $181.8M at the box office this past weekend, so most of you have already seen it and wouldn’t be spoiled.  For the rest of you, I really think you’ve either made up your mind to see this film, or you don’t like superhero films.  Either way, I’m going to focus on a bit of the argument in general, the standout characters, and some absolutely beautiful effects.

There are a couple things I want to mention about the box office numbers that Civil War brought in this weekend.  In May, Marvel movies have completely dominated.  Last year, Age of Ultron opened the same weekend and beat Civil War by $10M ($191M opening), and before that, it almost doubled Winter Soldier‘s $95M opening.  All gigantic numbers for kicking off the Summer Movie Season.  However, I really would like to point out that in March, Batman vs. Superman drew in $166M, a mere $21M less that Civil War.  This tells me two things, audiences have absolute zero superhero fatigue and if anyone tries to use that argument, take a used toilet plunger and cover their mouth with it as they don’t know what they’re talking about.

The second thing all these box office numbers tell me is that professional reviews don’t matter.  For years, film advertisers have been using little tricks to make a movie look better than it actually is.  For instance, if a film has ridiculously bad reviews, they’ll either take the one good review and quote it, or twist the words of a terrible review. Reading my review of Green Room from last week, you know I hated it, but as an example someone could have used this line to change the tone of my review: “Anyway … the movie was filmed well. That does show Saulnier’s talent.”  All I had to take out was “…the only thing I can really establish was the movie…”  You see how it’s a much different line without my qualifier?  Well, that’s how promoters have done it for quite a while.  Can’t blame them, they’re just doing their jobs.  However, I have seen many a trailer with “Twitter Review” in the TV spots after a film has released.  Check out the TV spot for this poor excuse of a comedy “Let’s Be Cops” from last year:

First review on screen is by a Twitterer?, Twittest?, Twit?, who goes by the handle @lanvinpierre.  His “reaction is simple “Holy F****** S***”. Then we have the intellectual comments of a one @KKlarl, who has this to say: “Too Damn Funny”.  Also don’t forget the amazing film critic @edgar leyva04 (who no longer has an account) which explains the nuances with “A Bada$$ Movie”.  I really wish I had made up the “$$” for “SS”, but I didn’t.  They go onto add two more to the list.  Now let’s see what Richard Brody (Top Critic from the New Yorker) said: “The chillingly gung-ho darkness that Johnson lends his comic riffs would be the story, if only the director, Luke Greenfield, didn’t play the movie solely for laughs, which are few and far between.”  I don’t know about you, but any comedy that has laughs “few and far between” is not a good start. Also, getting a 19% on the Tomato Meter and only 51% audience score gives me pause and hurts the immaculate review of @lanvinpierre and @KKLarl.

I am by no means a professional critic, but I try hard to give you more than 140 characters...
I am by no means a professional critic, but I try hard to give you more than 140 characters…

In fact, Mr. Germain Lussier from Slashfilm had an interesting article regarding initial Twitter reactions.  It’s not quite the same topic, but it does address writing a review so concisely.  Let me ask our Bleary-Eyed fans, do you want us to give simple impressions of the films we review?  I know I’m way to verbose with my reviews, but I do it to give you my opinion and to help you make up your mind if you’re on the fence. Would this be accomplished with a quick: “Dude, Civil War was awesome!” on Facebook?  I honestly wouldn’t mind some feedback regarding this subject.

At any rate, the difference in box office dollars had about a million variables and depending upon how Civil War does next weekend, we’ll know if anyone cares about critics or others’ opinions.  And I want to mention one more thing, I’m actually pretty excited to have seen a couple of trailers using the “Rotten Tomatoes’ Tomato Meter” as a function of success for a film.  That’s cool because the producers are starting to realize where people get their news, the web or social media, and are following along instead of being pulled kicking and screaming into 2016.

Perhaps the film studios have phased these out by now...
Perhaps the film studios have phased these out by now…

How about I talk a little bit about the movie?  If you’ve seen a trailer, well if you somehow avoided seeing a trailer, then the basic info about Civil War you’ll need is that Iron Man and Captain America have a disagreement over giving the United Nations oversight of the Avengers. Now I have my own opinion, but that’s something I really feel is interesting about Civil War, it was able to take a discussion from a film and bring it into real life.  Just like privacy over safety was at the forefront of The Winter Soldier, this one was able to bring an argument over control versus freedom.  In the film it is presented as a document called “The Sokovia Accords”, named after the city that got dropped from the sky in Age of Ultron.

The stipulations are that the Avengers are no longer a private organization and are sent in, or not, by a governing body within the United Nations.  I find this interesting as it is eerily similar to the argument presented in Batman vs. Superman regarding Superman’s involvement in foreign and domestic affairs.  And what is equally hilarious to me is that there are such devout fans of both franchises that will choose to ignore the similarities and denounce Superman as a reckless individual with little care for life or jurisdiction.  However, when looking at the Avengers, they’ll spout on how the World needs them, yada yada.  I’m not going to pick a side (wow, it’s amazing how that theme runs through a review regarding a movie titled Civil War).

Look into the unpatriotic murderer of children (accidentally)
Look into the unpatriotic eyes of the murderer of children (accidentally…)

Anyway, so both Captain America and Iron Man take a different stance on the Sokolvia Accords and along with the addition of a horrific, villain induced accident (courtesy of a brilliant Frank Grillo as Crossbones who is criminally underused in this film), a little bit of Bucky blame, and the death of Royalty (T’Chaka, the King of Wakanda), crap hits the fan.

After the cluster of terrible events and asinine decisions by both heroes, sides are taken and lines are drawn.  The Vision literally draws a line at one point between the two sides.  Like I said earlier, the argument at the heart of the movie is exacerbated by a whole bunch of people not listening to each other and a simple bit of idiocy (why the hell would Hawkeye attempt to take on Vision???)  At any rate, the argument is a little silly and could have easily been resolved, but then we wouldn’t have amazing action scenes and it’d be a rather short film.  So, in my opinion, the argument here, which is supposed to be central feature in the film falls a little flat, but what it kicks off, and what the directors, Anthony and Joe Russo choose to do with it is simply something spectacular.

Yeah, this is where they
Well, it wasn’t this spectacular, but this is where both Justin Lin and the Russo Brothers really rose to fame, so I had to include it.  And c’mon, Dr. Ken Jeong!

As I said earlier, I’m going to talk about a few things in here, but I can’t begin until I dote over the Russo Brothers.  Directing episodes of some of the best TV created (Arrested Development and Community) they went on to shock everyone with Captain America: The Winter Soldier and now have been given the keys to the Marvel Kingdom.  This comes in the form of them being chosen to direct the “Official” next movies in the Avengers saga: Infinity War Part I & 2.  Frankly, I’ve not seen films balance action and story as well as what the Russo’s have directed since another set of siblings directed the original Matrix.

No judgement, but you can't really call them the Watchowski Brothers anymore
No judgement, but you can’t really call them the Watchowski Brothers anymore

Having the Russo’s at the helm was pretty much the best move Marvel and Disney could have made. Put that together with the incredible cast, wizards with visual effects, and you know you’re going to have a successful film.

Talking about the cast, I have to give a few shout outs to some unsung hero (seriously this phrase is getting tossed around here too much) actors throughout Civil War.  While the main focus is on Chris Evans’ Captain America and Robert Downey Jr.’s Iron Man, stuffing about a bajillion more superheroes in the mix makes it to where a couple get lost in the shuffle or even if they have an excellent performance, might not get the credit they deserve.

I’ll try to get through them quickly, but it’s going to be tough since they’re all so good and don’t get near enough spotlight in Civil War.  First up are the actors on Cap’s side: Anthony Mackie as Falcon, Elizabeth Olsen as Scarlet Witch & Paul Rudd as Ant-Man. Anthony Mackie brings charm and comedy to his role and is easily one of the most likable characters in the film. While he plays second fiddle to Captain America, I really hope that at some point he gets to take over the shield and portray the Captain America/Falcon hybrid seen in the comics recently. As the only Olsen that got any talent in that family (yeah, the Ashley & Mary-Kate were cute as toddlers, but once you go for the coked-out Lindsey Lohan look, you don’t get to come back). Anyway, Olsen gets to show off her skills, both with invisible magic hand movements (I know Benedict Cumberbatch is going to have to do it soon too, yay for Doctor Strange) and the gravity of having kicked off this entire event along with the meaty scenes she gets with The Vision (Paul Bettany), it’s clear that she is a very talented actor.  Attempting not to give into the guilt her character feels along with still getting back up to fight, mirroring one of my favorite scenes in Age of Ultron with her and Hawkeye, she exhibits such a wide range and as films are created (often out of chronological order), she nails every single emotion and ferocity you need from this character.  It’s just so well done.  Finally I have to talk about Paul Rudd.  After being one of Judd Apatow’s personal finger puppets for years, he struck the comedy and heroic balance in last year’s Ant-Man, which Marvel needed to follow up the stellar Guardians of the Galaxy. While the MCU doesn’t lack in comedy, few characters are there to be the comic relief.  While I won’t put him on the level of Chris Pratt’s Star-Lord, I’ll tell you he gets some of the best parts in the film.  Again, I don’t want to spoil anything, but his HUGE bag of tricks and clever dialogue really put him over the top and in the spotlight for the ten to fifteen minutes he gets on screen.

Sorry Paul, the name isn't going anywhere and you're just lucky to get to work with Michael Douglas
Sorry Paul, the name isn’t going anywhere and you’re just lucky to get to work with Michael Douglas & Evangeline Lilly (or soon to be the Wasp!)

Next we have a few hidden gems on Iron Man’s team: Chadwick Boseman as Black Panther and Tom Holland as the all-new Spider-Man. Now it’s almost unfair that Boseman is in this film.  Not only does his Black Panther steal the show every moment he’s in the film, but why does he get to play every single important African American figure in recent history?  Boseman is just too talented, from using a brilliant African accent to kicking total ass in the film, he portrays everything wonderful about the character.  Even in the end where he gets a chance for revenge for his father’s death (see above mentioned regicide), he takes the high road and delivers some of the most haunting dialogue in the film with complete ease.  Hmm, where have I heard about peaceful resolution before?

Just wait for another film to roll around, he'll get this part too
Oh yeah, just wait for another film to roll around, he’ll get this part too

Last but probably the most important behind-the-scenes aspects of this film is Tom Holland’s Spider-Man.  After looking closely at Holland’s credits as an actor, I have no idea what he did to impress Marvel/Disney and Sony (aforementioned most important behind-the-scenes aspect), but the kid did not disappoint.  As soon as it was mentioned that Sony had brokered a deal with Marvel and Disney to allow Spider-Man in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, there was a collective fan squee and also the silence of a million people not wanting another origin story or thirty year old actors playing High School Peter Parker/Spider-Man.  While Holland is 20 now (Tobey Maguire brought Spider-Man to life in 2002 at the age of 27) he pulls off the awkward teenager better than any of those to come before him.  I swear in the film you can hear his voice crack.  Again, as mentioned earlier, once the Russo Brothers got their hands on the webslinger, they did something special with him.  Not only giving Holland a brilliant scene with Downey Jr., making him a pivotal character in the most incredible action scene in recent years, but also allowing him to deliver the best line in the film.  If you thought you were tired of Spider-Man, then the moment Tom Holland opens his mouth, you’ll be completely convinced otherwise.  The future is bright for Mr. Holland and his solo film, Spider-Man: Homecoming which will also star Downey Jr. and Aunt Hottie… I mean Aunt May who is portrayed by the beautiful Marisa Tomei.

I could have went the "Uncle Tony before Uncle Ben" route, but this was just too cool
I could have went the “Uncle Tony before Uncle Ben” route, but this was just too cool

As an aside on the actors, Martin Freeman adds his charm and British-ness to the film with what looks like him taking over as a surrogate Phil Coulson. Even though you can see Coulson every Tuesday on ABC in Agents of SHIELD (seriously, this show is good, I promise).  I guess they also needed someone to be Nick Fury-Like until Samuel L. Jackson gets back.

While not as intimidating with both eyes and the wool sweater, he'll do for a movie or two
While not as intimidating with both eyes and the wool sweater, he’ll do for a movie or two…I just want him to be in Doctor Strange and the fan service will be complete

Other than all of the actors, and the standout ones I mentioned above, the real treat in Civil War is the action.  In this golden age of Superhero Films, there was still skepticism that an Avengers movie could be made (let alone 2.5 of them, yeah counting this as an Avengers film) or the words “Terrigen Mist” uttered on TV (seriously SHIELD is good), no one could have ever predicted a battle and action sequence that was done in the middle of Civil War.  The airport sequence cranks the “War” portion of the title up to eleven and then somehow goes to twelve.  I know what you’re thinking, how did they top the NYC battle in the first Avengers? Without spoiling it outright, just think about all the characters involved in this movie and decide for yourself what could be so amazing.  There just isn’t any way to describe it without spoiling something.  Know it was easily one of the best action scenes concocted in film, period.  After a sequence like that, you’d assume they would be out of fuel (and budget), but no, you still have the titular battle between the heavyweights Captain America and Iron Man.

Movie Clash
I couldn’t give justice to this fight other than this image, which done in slow motion in the film, is probably the most striking shot of the entire film
Clash
And it came right out of the pages of the comics

Even with more visual effects that are so subtle they can easily be missed (like the de-aging of Robert Downey Jr. in the beginning of the film), it’s a testament to the power of Marvel & Disney together and an utterly towering bar for any effects team to hurdle in future films.  There is nothing else to be said.

Didn’t read my fancy words, here is the short version:

It’s Marvel.  You have either already seen Civil War, don’t want to see it, or so broke that you’d have to rob a liquor shop to get the money to watch it in theaters (seriously, ticket prices are nuts and will not stop inflating).  Regardless of a dumb setup (just so easily avoided), Civil War shines as the best that Marvel has to offer, especially from extremely weak source material.  It’s visually stunning and all the new characters added to the film simply push it to heights that I will go ahead and declare it Marvel’s best film to date.  $181M worth of tickets sold last week domestically, let’s see what happens when you add your stubs to the mix.  And believe me, it’s worth every penny.

-Darkmovienight

The 85th Academy Awards® will air live on Oscar® Sunday, February 24, 2013.

First Annual Oscar Clobber or The First time we rant about the Academy Awards

I honestly had a real plan for this article.  It was going to be a week long event in which we had guest writers discussing things like #OscarsSoWhite, how terrible the panel is due to ridiculous rules, eligibility, and voting, but I just can’t seem to care enough about the award show to make a real effort at posting something profound.

Seriously, I just Googled "Apathy" and this was the first image that came up...
Seriously, I just Googled “Apathy” and this was the first image that came up…

In lieu of an article about how awful the Oscars have become (and pretty much always have been), I’m going to go over some of the major categories and see if we can find something of interest somewhere among them to talk about.

VmHnLxj

Academy Award for Best Actress

First off, I really don’t like the fact that we still distinguish between “Actresses” and “Actors” via gender.  They are all actors and should be treated as such.  In my opinion, we should really put Jennifer Lawrence (nominated this year for the movie Joy) up against Eddie Redmayne (nominated for his (her?) performance in The Danish Girl) or Matt Damon (nominated for The Martian).  If you’ve seen Joy, you know it’s no where near the caliber of her past performances (Silver Linings Playbook, American Hustle, etc.), but it’s still a well put together movie and for her part, she does everything right and again, showcases an immense amount of talent.

"Don't put metal in the SCIENCE OVEN!" Still my favorite line of that movie and quite possibly 2014.
“Don’t put metal in the SCIENCE OVEN!” Still my favorite line of that movie and quite possibly 2014.

Anyway, there are other actors (yes, screw the word Actress) that are nominated as well, here is a quick round up:

  • Cate Blanchett, in Carol Aird, as Carol
  • Brie Larson, in Room, as Joy “Ma” Newsome
  • Jennifer Lawrence, in Joy, as Joy Mangano
  • Charlotte Rampling, in 45 Years, as Kate Mercer
  • Saoirse Ronan, in Brooklyn, as Eilis Lacey

IWTMM’s Prediction: Jennifer Lawrence

Of course it has to be Jennifer Lawrence.  Everyone loves her (she is really seemingly charming by all accounts) and if the panel even recognized any other actor’s name in that pile, then I would be surprised.  Just give her another one, let her trip on the stairs or her dress *cue laughter* and a “surprised” winning speech.

IWTMM’s “Who Should Have Won”: Charlize Theron as Imperator Furiosa in Mad Max: Fury Road.

Seriously, you’ve likely seen Mad Max: Fury Road, the other nominations, not too likely.  If you have (or even if you haven’t), Charlize Theron kicks so much ass in two hours than all the “Action Stars” of the 80’s combined.  I totally think she should go all Kanye West on the Winner.

"I'm gonna let you finish, but first, I want to shoot a few idiots in the crowd." -Charlize Theron
“I’m gonna let you finish, but first, I want to shoot a few idiots in the crowd.” -Charlize Theron

Academy Award for Best Actor

 I believe they add, “in a Leading Role” to this title, but I don’t really care (that’s going to be a theme during this whole article).  Let’s take a look at our powder-white nominees:

  • Bryan Cranston, in Trumbo, as Dalton Trumbo
  • Matt Damon, in The Martian, as Mark Watney
  • Leonardo DiCaprio, in The Revenant, as Hugh Glass
  • Michael Fassbender, in Steve Jobs, as Steve Jobs
  • Eddie Redmayne, in The Danish Girl, as Lili Elbe / Einar Wegener

IWTMM’s Prediction: Leonardo DiCaprio

Leo has been passed over for this award in four separate years.  They skipped a year between nominating him so it didn’t look too suspicious, but I believe DiCaprio has been thoroughly snubbed.  It likely doesn’t make any difference to him.  Did you see what he got to do in The Wolf of Wall Street?

I can just see all the tears spewing from his gold-lined tear ducts...
I can just see all the tears spewing from his gold-lined tear ducts…

I mean, come on, you think Leo cares?  Does he want to win, probably, it’s seemingly a big deal to these Hollywood types.  But if a little gold statue is more important than the millions he rakes in for almost every film he does, then I really think the “art” in film is moot.

I think this is a bit more up everyone's alley...
I think this is a bit more up everyone’s alley…

Academy Award for Best….

You know what, I really don’t give a crap.  The Oscars are horrible.  The monologue is obnoxious and no matter who wins, someone is going to be upset.  I don’t even have enough apathy to finish this article.

IWTMM’s Prediction for Best Director: Adam McKay for The Big Short

IWTMM’s Prediction for Best Picture: The Big Short

Seriously, I don’t care.  The Big Short was a phenomenal movie with excellent actors, a horrifying reality, and was honestly both entertaining and filmed very well.  It’s on the “Unicorn List”.  It’s both entertaining and “Critically” acclaimed.  So, for my money, it’s going to come out the winner, but I really don’t care.  The whole thing is just a big Hollywood circlejer…….

We apologize for the inconvience as us at I Watch Too Many Movies attempt to appeal to all audiences, thus the ending of the review has been closed and censored.
We apologize for the inconvenience as us at I Watch Too Many Movies attempt to appeal to all audiences, thus the ending of the review has been closed and censored.

…..and that’s all I have to say about that.  At least I get to see Zootopia next weekend.

-Darkmovienight

You're welcome.

Deadpool or A Movie Review of Deadpool

Deadpool Poster

 There is a lot of potential for a review of Deadpool.  We could have had him personally write the review and us having to fight him for control over the keyboard (which, honestly, wouldn’t have ended well for Manchicken and I), we could have tried to write the review in the style of the film, or we could have just thrown some Fourth Wall breaking nonsense together and called it a day.

Which one did you think we went with?
Which one did you think we went with?

Deadpool is not your typical Marvel Superhero film.  Sure, the film’s plot was done with the typical origin story, but with this character, I actually believe it was somewhat necessary.  In the case of Wade Wilson, I believe that the general public had no knowledge of his existence outside of the brilliant marketing campaign put together by Fox and Ryan Reynolds himself.

How did this get here?
How did this get here?

Ah hum.  And no matter what I can say about this film, it’s all about Ryan Reynolds.  The man who single handedly took the crap given to him from Gavin HoodDavid BenioffSkip Woods (Director and writers of X-Men Origins: Wolverine) and likely 20th Century Fox’s evil lead, Jim Gianopulos, (depicted below in his true form), and made sweet sweet lemonade out of fetid lemons.

Hmmm, that's not Fox's President...or is it?
Hmmm, that’s not Fox’s President…or is it?

From showcasing some of the character’s fighting abilities in the failed prequel to X-Men, endlessly campaigning for the film, somehow being first to showcase “leaked” footage from a 2011 proof of concept to this film on Twitter, and appearing in countless ads and other marketing stunts, including an amazing “self help” video advocating “Touching Yourself” to look for testicular cancer, oh, and actually staring in this record breaking R-Rated film.

It’s very rare that studios are comfortable releasing R-Rated films. Mainly because it really kills their chances at getting all that sweet allowance money from the coveted 13-16 year old demographic.  I imagine Fox did everything they could to try and make this film PG-13, but both Reynolds and director Tim Miller (this was one hell of a wide-release debut) lobbied as hard as they could for the film’s essence to be maintained.  Even when they had to lose $7 Million from production at the last moment, they came through and took away the previous release record for an R-Rated film (previously held by The Hangover Part II).  With an opening weekend of $135M in the US (way more in other territories), it not only blew those records away, but it kicked some major studio butt by becoming Fox’s largest opening weekend (stealing it from Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith).

You're Welcome
You’re Welcome

Don’t know what Fight Club has to do with it, but, I’ll roll with it. Anyway, for not being a fan of Deadpool in the comics (I’m more of a DC guy), I enjoyed the heck out of this film.  The most common thing I hear people say about it is that it was “fun”.  I think that is a fantastic way to describe Deadpool, but I believe there is a better one: Original.  And I really worry, just like director James Gunn that filmmakers are going to learn a completely different lesson from Deadpool.  While I’ll be the first to advocate for more R-Rated films in wide release as well as less serious comic book films (sorry my dearest Ben, I’m looking at your Batman vs. Superman).

Original? Where is this going?
Original? Where is this going?

As Gunn worries, Deadpool’s success will only mean more of the same. Yes, we loved Deadpool, but we didn’t love it just because it broke the Fourth Wall, deadpool_107447

had gratuitous amounts of violence and blood, or even was extremely funny in pretty much every way.  Unfortunately, that’s what Hollywood is going to take away from Deadpool.  The trope of “comedic-ultra-violence” will hit screens (hell, I’d pay to see more blood while Wolverine with the gloves off his claws rips through the entire cast of the Brotherhood of Mutants).  Why lie?  We’d all watch that…but then we’d get fatigued again and they would just be another brand of superhero films.  The magic from Deadpool would be lost in the sea of uncharacteristic actions taken by notable heroes.

Kevin Smith

I was thinking of Spider-Man creating nooses for the bad guys but sure, Kevin Smith can laugh at us.

Apart from Reynold’s obvious passion for the character and the film in general, his supporting cast are taken along for the ride.  Not a single one of them miss a beat as the Merc with a Mouth goes on one killing rampage after another (sometimes even turning the camera away when it could get too bad), makes self-referential humor, or even decides the film needs Colossal ball punching.  That last part is literal.  Needless to say, the supporting actors look like they’re having as much fun as the audience and can hardly keep from laughing in almost every scene.

Slow-motion action is nothing new.  Both Wanted, Kingsman, and the granddaddy of them all The Matrix all had variations of the fight choreography in Deadpool.  There was something special about the ultra-violence depicted on screen, but even displays such as Watchmen and the first two Terminator films had copious amounts of ultra-violence.  In my opinion, the two directors who have pulled off action as well as that in Deadpool are Timur Bekmambetov (Director of Wanted and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter)   and Matthew Vaughn (Director of Kick-Ass and Kingsman: The Secret Service).  There are scenes in Wanted and Kick-Ass that still make me cringe when I think of them.

green_lantern_69563

Okay, well, I did cringe at Green Lantern, but that wasn’t the point.  In general, others have done what Deadpool has done, but I think their real trump card here was the internal dialogue from Wade.  In fact, several sequences are shot in such a way that Deadpool is actively telling a complete story while dealing out death to anyone who was foolish enough to continue fighting after the first few bullets didn’t put him down.  Again, as I said, it all comes back to Ryan Reynolds.

Something I don’t often cover in movie reviews, but applies here, is the musical score.  Horror films utilize the score to create tension and unless you are watching a film with the name “John Williams” or “Danny Elfman”, you’re not likely to notice the score.  Deadpool was an interesting case.  The 1990’s Hip-Hop vibe and general zaniness of the music flaring with the action is one impressive bit.  I don’t want to spoil anything, but there was a moment in the film where an action movie trope was exploited for a gag that had the theater in stitches.

House of Cards 1

There was only one flaw in Deadpool’s otherwise stellar story, action, and acting was the villain.  Unlike *spoilers* President Underwood up there, I don’t know why Marvel, Fox, or Warner Bros. have not been able to produce a good villain since Heath Ledger’s Joker in The Dark Knight. Did he set the bar too high?  It’s been almost 10 years and we’ve seen squat in a fully formed villain.  All I want is someone that has a reasonable scheme, no mystery casting (we all knew he was Khan), and can act worth a damn.  I was however impressed with Gina Carano in the henchmen role which is her best role since she played “Crush” on the revamped “American Gladiators” during the 2008 Writer’s Strike.

No funny business this time, she's just too good looking
No funny business this time, she’s just too good looking.

Didn’t read my fancy words, here is the short version:

Deadpool is an instant classic in the superhero genre that has become saturated.  Perhaps all we needed was a little bit of passion, humor, and debilitating ultra-violence injected straight into our veins to wake up from the action films that major studios have been peddling too us lately.  They’re going to have to seriously up their game because not only is Deadpool a blast to watch, but it’s original without having to resort to filming the whole movie with computers.  Just go see this movie, you won’t regret it…unless you bring your children.  The explanations you’ll have to endure on the ride home will be harrowing to say the least.

Norman Bates
-Darkmovienight

X-Men: Apocalypse Trailer Reveal or I Still Think Cosplayers Dress Better

X-Men: Days of Future Past, in my opinion, was the pinnacle of the X-Men cinematic franchise.  I don’t know anyone who could have done a better job of bringing together two timelines and killing the movie that everyone hated in the franchise.

If you see this man, approach with caution, Brett Ratner is considered armed and untalented
If you see this man, approach with care.  Brett Ratner is considered armed and untalented. While we do not condone violence, we will make one exception

They finally gave us a look into what the next movie in the X-Men franchise will look like.  Honestly, I dig it.  Cast is top notch and Bryan Singer is sticking with an X-Men film.  Because we all know what happened when he switched sides.  There really isn’t anything I’m worried about here.  I’m sad we don’t get to see Sir Patrick Stewart or Sir Ian McKellen again (jeez, still with the knights), but McAvoy and Fassbender will do.  Not to mention we get to have another Evan Peter’s deliciously amazing Quicksilver moments:

Also, all the actors portraying the younger versions of the X-Men we’ve come to love and hate, *cough* “Cyclops”, look great, especially Nightcrawler:

Nightcrawler
Yeah, they made him Emo, but you can kinda see both eyes

Anyway, I’ve been looking forward to this for a long while, so even though 2015 had Avengers: Age of Ultron, Ant-Man, Fantastic Four and The Martian (what, are you really going to argue that Matt Daemon wasn’t a superhero in that movie when we had to include the Fantastic Four movie in this list?!), it looks like 2016 is shaping up to be pretty epic superhero movie wise itself:

The only thing we have left is to talk about how bad Apocalypse’s costume is, and we’re trying not to beat a dead horse, but c’mon Singer! Did your costume department even look at the comics?  As many have pointed out, cosplayers can even do Apocalypse more justice.

Comics
Comics
Cosplay
Cosplay
Failure
Failure

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hope you Bleary-Eyed fans enjoyed the trailer and are as excited as we are for 2016 and its stellar lineup of superhero films.

-Darkmovienight

Ant-man

TL;DR Portion

I enjoyed this film… a lot. It was a Marvel super hero film, so of course it has the same formulaic tropes and story plots as the other ones… but it’s fun. The special effects are neat, and it’s surprisingly funny.

There are really two possibilities here, from what I can tell:

  • If you enjoyed the other Marvel films, I think you’ll like this one too.
  • If you hated the other Marvel films, you probably won’t like this one either.

The Premise of the Film

Scott Lang is down on his luck. He has a young daughter who is growing up without him, and his vigilante-style whistleblowing has landed him with a criminal record and jail time, which he is just finishing up when the film starts. Scott’s daughter lives with the girl’s mother, and her step-father, who is a cop. He has a hard time finding a job with his record, despite an advanced degree and extreme determination. He relents and considers returning to crime, and that’s where the excitement begins.

Scott breaks into a house he believes to be unoccupied, which leads him to finding something special. This special something brings Dr. Hank Pym into his life, and Hank’s daughter Hope. There’s the usual family tension, like with most Marvel films.

Hank has an old apprentice, Darren Cross, who is dabbling in some dangerous technology involving a suit that can shrink and give the wearer extraordinary physical capabilities while enabling them to get into small places, which is a similar feat accomplished by Hank himself decades before.

The main players in this film are:

  • Paul Rudd – Scott Lang / Ant-Man
  • Michael Douglas – Dr. Hank Pym
  • Evangeline Lilly – Hope van Dyne
  • Corey Stoll – Darren Cross / Yellowjacket
  • Abby Ryder Fortson – Cassie Lang (little girl)
  • Judy Greer – Maggie Lang (mother of little girl)
  • Bobby Cannavale – Paxton (step-father of little girl)

I think the best player was probably Michael Douglas. I thought that he did “regretful father who kept secret that which he should not have kept secret” well. The worst player, I think, was Corey Stoll. While I like Corey Stoll – mostly from his work in House of Cards – I don’t think he did a very good job with “jilted and jealous apprentice”. This could have been Peyton Reed’s (director) fault, the world may never know.

What I Liked

I liked the fight scenes, the sci-fi elements, and I always like how Marvel rewards me for being a comic reader. I don’t read Marvel stuff much anymore, but I used to and I liked it. I still have fond memories of Ant-Man appearing in my books when I was a kid and young adult.

What I Didn’t Like

I didn’t like that I had to watch the same Marvel film again with different characters and different special effects. I understand that this is how Marvel does its business, and that most of the characters and story arcs go like this… but they changed so much of the canon that they could have improved this as well.

Conclusion

I will concede that I am not the objective observer on this film. Watching this film carries almost two decades of comic book love with it, and I have to disclose that up front.

I’m glad I saw this film in theaters, I’m glad I saw it in 3D-IMAX, and I’m glad that while Marvel couldn’t bring me a complex and innovative story line, they at least brought me enough classic Ant-Man throw-backs to reward me for my ticket price.