Fan Theory Friday- Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Good evening Bleary Eyed Fans.  Is everyone settled in and ready for another weekend of box office mayhem?  Not likely.  I doubt Hotel Transylvania 2 and The Intern are going to break any records, but you’ll still get your review from your everyday trusted idiots, me and The Manchicken.

Thursday was supposed to be a “Throwback Thursday” review day (which I totally botched) about The Monster Squad.  I was going to get on here and tell you how awesome it was and has aged extremely well, especially Stan Winston‘s excellent creature designs, but no one from the movie really went anywhere.  No Stand by Me luck here.

That’s actually it, I didn’t have too much more, so consider Throwback Thursday a success (stop looking at my past failures and look at the failures I’m committing now. Note- I didn’t make the pumpkin what it was, but I stood by and watched it happen.)

On Friday’s we figured we could get a little work out of our fans.  Each Friday, we want you to fill in the gaps that Hollywood left there like a sinkhole.  Do you know if the top stops spinning in Inception?  Ever wanted to tell everyone about how Clerks was actually a sequel to National Lampoon’s European Vacation?  Everyone has their own head cannon and we want to know.

Today I’m going to tackle one of the silliest logical skips of all time: Anakin Skywalker’s fall to the Dark Side (and bonus, why would Padme ever love him??)

So here goes my grand theory of how a young boy with adventure on his mind and amazing skill turns into a child murderer. It also explains why Padme could ever fall in love or even marry such a childish and horrible human. My theory hangs on seven words spoken by Obi-Wan in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope:

“These aren’t the Droids you’re looking for. ”

Jedi mind tricks. Said to only work on the weak minded. Well, when Anakin is concerned, Padme still sees that sweet boy who gave her a beautiful hand carved necklace and helped save her planet. Now Anakin and her are thrust together and have several, and very lame romantic moments (especially after he admits to killing an entire village of Sand People). Whether Anakin was doing it on purpose or not, he was Jedi Mind Roofying the crap out of her. Just subtle little work from such a powerful Jedi, of course she’s susceptible. Even if he didn’t know he was doing it, he wanted it.  So you have an extremely immature and powerful Jedi who desires this woman and has never had any self control let alone a stable childhood, alone with a young woman who wants to keep the Galaxy together, but is forced to hide because everyone wants to kill her.  Seriously, that sounds like a situation ripe for Jedi Mind Rape.  Now we look at his ultimate fall and the creation of Lord Darth Vader.

Just as Anakin manipulates Padme (subtly and over a long period of time), so does the Emperor do to him.  Simple human manipulation at first, but once his mind becomes open, he starts using stronger methods.  Now Anakin attempts to resist (unconsciously) but Palpatine knows how to push his buttons and Anakin is so clouded with mistrust and worry, he doesn’t see the Sith Mind Control at work.  Hell, the future is even so clouded by the Dark Side Palpatine was generating that even Yoda, the most powerful Jedi, could not sense who the Sith Lord was. It’s no wonder that manipulation and Sith Mind Control worked so easily on Anakin. It was only a brief moment of clarity that he ran and told Mace Windu of Palpatine’s true nature.

Only once Palpatine is completely in Sith form and engaged, all those years of mind control come in and then Anakin snaps.  First, protecting the Emperor by killing Mace Windu, losing all self will due to fear, and then his allegiance turned.  The siring of Darth Vader is so easy and takes so little work on Palpatine’s part, all of his programming has already taken its toll.  And to get Anakin to exterminate the Jedi left in the temple (and yes, I mean the Younglings too), he MUST have been completely Sith Mind Controlled.  Even though he was an jerk, he wasn’t a monster yet.  He was at his weakest psychological state, and all Palpatine had to do was give the command, just like Order 66.

Didn’t read my fancy words, here is the short version:

Anakin manipulates Padme into loving him, and his darkest deeds done in Episode III were done because of the mind control that the greatest Sith known in that Universe had manipulated a weak-minded, scared, and vulnerable kid.

About darkmovienight

You know that guy who goes to the gym and listens to comedy albums while on the treadmill and laughs hysterically? That's not me, I don't go to gyms. I do hang out in Virginia collecting Batman stuff and spending time with my best friend, a Pomeranian named Kratos.

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